walking next to you...

a new year!

2012-01-10T16:46:00.000-08:00

happy new year:) a few days late is better than never, right? i have a great deal of holiday updating to do and hopefully that will all happen this weekend. for now, here is one update that is really near and dear to my heart. today was the first day of classes and they were really great and i am glad to be back. there is one new class that has been added to my schedule and it is one i have hoped to teach for a very long time and never could have imagined it would happen at MVA:) today, i taught my first Holocaust class and even though it was only the first day it was so good and i just can't wait to get to teach this class for an entire semester to high school students. i love all of my classes so much but this one has a special place in my heart due to the subject. God is so faithful in the big things and in the little things.

happy tuesday.

Merry Christmas to you:)

2011-12-23T20:01:00.000-08:00

love,

the Piankos

so little time!

2011-12-11T18:00:00.000-08:00

this one is just going to to quick and photos are going to do most of the talking:)

we drove to tennessee for thanksgiving to visit big sis and it was amazing...first road trip together... success:)

the scenery was just stunning...we wanted to stop every few minutes that passed!

thanksgiving is my favorite:) we watched the parade and ate cinnamon pumpkin pancakes...yummers!

spending thanksgiving with these three was perfect:)

we made lots of food...and ate it too:)

and we skyped with our whole family...and received a little bit of news:)

our thanksgiving miracle...i am finally going to be an AUNTIE!!!! hip! hip! hooray!!!

on our way back, we filled our tank with the cheapest gas ever!!!

when we got back, i started reading this, thanks beccers:) it is so beautiful. God is.

and just before we left for tennessee, i got a copy of this...my voice got to be a part of it. it was super. so grateful.

side note-> we love to spend time in the kitchen together:)

also at work:) i am so lucky to work down the hall from my sweet:) i recognized the penmanship;)

i love this man...so much:)

we finally took chloe in. she was fixed. completely different cat. in a good way...she's not crazy anymore:)

last night, he went out...and came back with "i love you" flowers. perfection.

and he had this too. red velvet? yes, please!

and then this morning at 3:30, something happened and it led us to the ER. my sweet fellow was feeling so horrible this morning and it turned out to be a kidney stone:/ he is so brave says me and the doctor who treated him. that darn thing is still there but it will be out of there soon!

the past couple of months have been just chaotic but i am so happy that my God is bigger than all of it. i can hardly believe Christmas is just days away. Cali, see you SO soon! saturday to be exact;)

spooky!

2011-10-31T17:54:00.000-07:00

can't believe it's already that time of year:) i love halloween, even if this year zack and i are sitting at home reading and grading and basically everything school:) the lower school had a costume parade and oh my goodness, they were so stinking cute!!! the craziest part is realizing we are three weeks down the road from thanksgiving which is my favorite:) i love everything about it with the exception of note being with my entire family when it comes. that's what christmas is for:) i hope you all have a wonderful night. safety first and always, friends!

going home home:)

2011-10-30T14:35:00.000-07:00

last weekend, zack and i took a very short trip home home:) where the families are, california. my little brother, who is not so little anymore, tied the knot and it was such an honor to be able to be a part of something so special. he married a gal who is perfect for him, i think we were all kinda hoping joe would make her our sister, and last saturday he finally did! laura is such a special girl and the way she loves my little brother makes all of us so happy and we know God is the reason for all of that:)

even though our trip was so short and we were not able to see so many special people, we were able to spend time with our families and that was so important for both of us. i remember just before leaving for california i told zack the thing i was most excited about was hugging my mom...i really needed a mom hug and i got one:) spending time with my entire family and zack getting to see his mom and spend time with her was so needed and such perfection and i am so grateful for the short weekend we were able to have together.

i know a lot of people say they have the best family. but i am so sure i do:)

now for some photo madness:

zack and i, love him:)
had to sneak this one in because they just celebrated 33 years of marriage!
my amazing sisters- and oh so gorgeous!
the happy couple and my sweet folks:)
the original six- love, love, love them:)
love:)
the gals and their mama:)
married!
our new sister:)

happily ever after:)

3 months

2011-09-11T18:48:00.001-07:00

this is our first photo we took as a couple way back when:)

today is a day to remember in so many ways. we did a great deal of 9/11 rememberence but we had to take a little bit of time to remember that today is our 3 month wedding anniversary:) i know, i know, three months, woohoo. BUT it really is a woohoo! it has been the best three months growing with zack. starting the school year together. making new friends. plugging into church. and the list goes on and on and on:) words will never be able to fully express just how grateful i am for this guy:)

God is good. Amen.

Sept. 11th- ten years

2011-09-11T05:43:00.000-07:00

on friday, i had a student ask me why september 11th happened. my initial reaction was shock and from there i moved right along and explained it to her. globalization, terrorist organizations, all of it. as my day went on, i kept thinking about her and her question. i had this weird question mark in my head- i didn't get why i was being asked that question and soon, slowly but surely, it hit me. That horrible day was going to be having its 10 year anniversary in a couple of days. TEN YEARS. and all the pieces fell into place. my sweet student was so young 10 years ago. i was in high school, senior year, and i will never forget that day. we hear at home and at school, a great deal of our day went to different news stations. i will never forget the horror i felt in my heart. i was young too, but old enough to understand what was taking place AND more so, that hatred is such a real thing and such an ugly thing. i remember feeling so brokenhearted and even this morning as my husband and i are sitting here watching the ceremony that is going on, my heart is still hurting and i'm fighting back the tears and it feels like maybe two years have gone by since that day.

i don't know if it will ever really feel like it was 10 years ago, or 15 years ago, or 25 years ago. i don't know why, but with this one thing, it doesn't feel like it happened so long ago. it feels like it is staying really close to us, following closely or something. and maybe that is because we have a responsibility to keep it fresh and to remember and to share it with those who were young or perhaps not even there when it took place. it's a history thing. if history is cyclical, which i believe it is, we must remember things like this and pass it down and learn from them and do what we can to bring about change.

i hope you take a little bit of time to just remember those who lost their lives on such a dark day. one of many dark days in our history but more than deserving of a little bit of our time.

that's all. i know my thoughts may be a little bit incomplete but i don't think anyone out there really has complete thoughts about something like this. thanks for reading.

the new year!

2011-09-03T17:40:00.000-07:00

it has been too long since my last post so i am going to try to give a quick summary of the past few weeks... i have tons of grading to do:) we made it through the hot florida summer and it is getting cooler every day, or so it seems. we are now in school and just finished week two and are both very grateful for a lovely three day weekend. i started my second year at MVA and the only thing that could make it that much better is that i didn't start alone... zack began this year with me...and our classrooms are in the same building:) how amazing is that?!

seeing the old faces come back and seeing the new faces has just been such a treat. there is chaos but it has just been so wonderful and i know it will just get better. zack and i are loving it all so much. we don't have very much time these days for anything but lesson planning and grading but we love that we get to do it together. i love, love, love so much that he gets to be a part of something that is so special to me. something that i tried to make him understand for so long and now don't have to anymore because he is living it with me. the only word that comes to mind is...BLESSED. cliche? sure but so very true.

sometimes we draw up pictures in our minds what life will look like and even if we think we have it right, we are most of the time wrong. but it's ok because our creator already drew up the picture and it is always so much better than anything we are capable of drawing up for ourselves. i would take where i am now over anything i could have imagined life like a year ago.

i have an amazingly supportive family at home, i work at the most amazing place with the most amazing people, i have the most amazing students...really, i am married to a man who loves me terribly and i him, i have the loveliest friends any gal could ask for...here and those i miss dearly at home, i have a sweet little home with two crazy little cats, and the list goes on and on. i am glad that i don't get to decide how life goes because it wouldn't be as good as what it is if i had my way:)

i love having zack here with me. it has been so fun getting to learn how to live with a boy full time. we are both so different and learning how to compromise may not always be fun but it sure is hilarious and when all is said and done...we are so good together:) zack cleans different, does laundry different, does dishes different, pretty much everything different....but i don't care because he does it:) i love that sometimes when i am grading, i hear the kitchen faucet running and know he is in there doing dishes. i don't ask, he just does. so i am learning that IT DOESN'T MATTER if it's different because it is from the heart and it is getting done:)

i love that we get ready for school together in the morning. i love that we have lunch together at school. i love that he tucks me in sometimes when i go to bed before him because i get sleepy first:) i love that sometimes after long grading sessions, we sit together and watch hey arnold! i love that last night he took me out on a date because we were lacking in us time. i love that he took me to see a movie that he knew i would love and took me to a mexican restaurant with mariachi men:) he is good to me and God is good to me for giving him to me:)

zack on his first day:)

and me too:)

my students are still working on the new name thing;)

detox

2011-08-04T16:09:00.000-07:00

the kit cats are so sleepy lately:)

we are working away in the kitchen.

yum veggie chili is almost ready.

life is so lovely:)

we are children of a God who truly cherishes us:)

the wedding:)

2011-08-01T16:23:00.000-07:00

ok, so it has been long enough and it's not on purpose. life, it is a crazy thing and it is just so hard to keep up sometimes...especially posting things on here. the wedding morning came and what can i say? i didn't have butterflies in my stomach, true story:) i was just ready and excited and a little bit/ a lot emotional. i couldn't help but look back on all that zack and i had been through and experienced together and apart and how it all led up to this one special day.

we all woke up early and made our way over to the wedding site and began the setup. it was very smooth because everyone was incredible. we worked so hard and we worked together and when the time came, i got to make my way over to redlands for hair and make up. my to lovely friends ash and danielle did a brilliant job and truly truly, i just felt so grateful. the flowers came while i was away so when i got back up there, i was absolutely beside myself when i saw all the lovely pieces arranged by my ever so sweet friend, diana:)

it was all happening and gosh oh gosh, my heart was more than full!

when i put my dress on, i don't know, there was just something so good about that moment. my sisters and lovely friends were there with me. it was wonderful. we had the loveliest gals shooting our special day. erica and amy. twins. photographers. lovely people. they really captured our day. from getting ready to walking down the aisle to our first dance to cake eating(yum:), they captured it.

walking down the aisle, i will never forget it. looking at zack and him looking at me. and our ceremony was so wonderful. i know people say those are the details you forget, but i don't think i ever will. our friend jon officiated the ceremony and it was personal and full of God and perfect and unforgettable.

the reception was lovely, the details, the food, and our cake...well, it was five layers of so much goodness:) thank you jen strahl:)

so all in all, it was an unforgettable evening:) so enough of the chit chat and time to share just a few photos. there are tons so i had to be picky but there are hopefully enough just to share what an amazing day it was:)

i will post a few more later on:) that's all for now:) happy thoughts and a good night:)

our new home:)

2011-07-22T06:31:00.000-07:00

i will go back to the wedding day soon but i thought it might be nice to update on life here:) we are in our new home and zack and i and the kitties are loving it here! so, i would talk you through it BUT i am just going to let you take a look instead:)

happy friday:)

wedding week:)

2011-07-14T18:26:00.000-07:00

i'm back again:) i think we left off at wedding week. well, monday morning we got our marriage license! it was so crazy but amazing. filling out the paperwork, changing my name, it was just wonderful:)

i absolutely loved the week before my wedding because of a few reasons. it involved my whole family being together. it involved zack. it involved some really amazingly dear people in my life. it was just so good.

i got to spend a lot of time with my sisters and let me just say, there is no one on earth who can compare to a gal's sisters. i know girls who are really crummy at loving their sisters and i will never get that. never. if you don't have sisters, it's ok, i promise. but if you have them, they are gems, entire treasures. so love them just like that:) they helped make my wedding happen with making pinwheels, paper cranes, chocolate buttons, programs, you name it, they did it, and with with smiles on their precious faces:)

mom is such a treasure too! i know people say your mom shouldn't be your friend. mine is. i love talking to her. she made cakes and pretty much just whatever was needed, she was there to do. being home with my family was such a blessing to my soul. i missed them a lot. my sweet dad. my mom. my sisters and brothers. i know i claim this a lot but i am so certain that i have the best family in the world. and since i claim this so often, i am really hoping that you believe me because it is oh so very true:) zack and i spent a great deal of time together that week which was so nice. there was no pressure, no stress, just a lot of time with so many lovely people!

Jen came in wednesday morning and that was just amazing. there were two people coming from florida and that turned into one:( Lena wasn't able to make it but she was there in spirit:) and it was for the safety of baby Seth and i can't wait to meet that kid:) and he is coming so soon! she was so missed! the second person was Jen. Jen has many roles- first, friend and after, coworker, cake maker, candy maker, crafter, and the list goes on. Jen packed our cake in her luggage and it arrived in perfect condition and watching that thing turn into the masterpiece that it was, was the coolest process ever:)

days before the wedding, we just did tons of fun things:) we made candy...and ate it:) we laughed...a lot. we made programs. we painted signs. we watched movies. we ate tons. did i mention we laughed tons? we did:) i loved seeing friends and spending time with my family and getting all the little things done before the big day. like make up and hair practice and counseling with the MacDonalds:) friday night came along and the rehearsal was just lovely. that was the night when the families finally got together and everyone met and it was a really neat time. it was just perfect! and there was night and that was followed by the wedding day...coming soon!

long time no see:)

2011-07-07T12:28:00.000-07:00

so long that i don't even remember where i left off....so i guess i will just pick up somewhere before i left montverde to get hitched;) the year ended so incredibly. my first year at MVA was such a treasure...one i don't think i will be able to forget even when i get older and i start to do the forgetful thing! between AP exams and finals and getting everything into tip top shape so that i could leave peacefully, life was busy but good:) i had to pack up my apartment because zack and i were given a lovely new home to start fresh! and it is so roomy! and i can' wait to show you photos!

so school over, life in boxes, i was ready to go home to walk down that fancy...grassy aisle to say i do! my flight home was antsy because i knew zack was getting in at the same time so i wouldn't have to wait to see his face! and i didn't! we hugged, i got a kiss, and we were off! and since cc and ryan picked us up, our first stop was in-n-out:)

it was late but it was good and it was the best to be there with zack and part of my family. i was all smiles:) we got home and crashed. the next morning i woke up pretty early but so did zack so my heart was happy. mom made breakfast and zack made coffee and it was soo good.

such a looker;) that weekend was just the calm before....the calm:) there wasn't really a storm like i thought there would be. we had so much help that there wasn't really any room for a storm. we were both so grateful. we got to go up to the orchard and it was just stunning and i had goosebumps because that same day we got to meet up with Diana, our florist, full of wonderful ideas, and so, it was really happening:)

that weekend aura gave us a very special present. she put together a picture book of zack and i together and it is just the loveliest thing. i love looking at it still:)

we are so good together:)

more to come soon:)

my life...

2011-05-23T18:25:00.001-07:00

is absolutely upside down right now. but in blessings, if you can believe it:) that's all i have time for right now.

ps---z sent in his contract today! eeeeekkk!!!!!!!!!!

new news...

2011-05-21T20:08:00.001-07:00

1. zack is an ENGLISH TEACHER!

2. we are MOVING!

so excited:)

2011-05-18T19:19:00.000-07:00

for what is down the road for this guy:) some really huge news...which i will write about tomorrow because it is bed time now:) so blessed, joyful, loved, and so on:) he's grrreat!

my home...OUR home...becoming more homey:)

2011-05-14T17:36:00.000-07:00

my home has been changing an awful lot these past few months because someone else is movin in! sorry chloe and tobbers, it will no longer be just us three...we are now going to be FOUR:) since zack is moving in, there have had to be a few adjustments, minor of course...like switching from a twin to a queen. ok, perhaps not so minor! and learning how to space save:) i have been loving it so much and i am going to love having him here so MUCH:)

people are so nice:)

toby likes his home:)

chloe helps me get ready for work every morning:)

love

they love our home:)

can't wait for zack and i to have dinner together!

it's bed time!

zack, i am ready for you to be home with me:) love you!

too many...

2011-05-14T10:06:00.000-07:00

for one day:) that's how i am feeling about how many posts i am about to unleash on this thing. but it has to be done:) you see, there is this thing called life. it has been crazy in the past but never like this and never so good, so time has been limited. BUT since i have weekend duty, it seems like the perfect time to update those of you check in here and there on the recent happenings. i am going to start with two very lovely events- my bridal showers:) they were a bit apart time wise but i am going to write about both in one post to...save www space;)

April 7th, i had the opportunity to travel home for just about 24ish hours for one special day. the day that my lovely family and close friends from home hosted a lovely bridal shower for your truly:) it was one of the loveliest sites. CC and Dorth could not have put together a more lovely event with help from moms and other sweet, sweet ladies:) there were photo frames, and birds, and bird nests, and tea, and food, and it was just the most delightful event!

they captured my personality to so well in that day and i felt so privileged and honored to have received so much love. it was absolutely too short of a stay but it was so wonderful. i was able to see so many friends and my family. getting to see everyone made me miss home so much, i can't lie, so i tried to suck up every moment i was there. it was interesting because it snowed in yucaipa that night when i arrived so i didn't pack for it BUT it was still perfect. AND I met the amazing gal who is going to make one beautiful day out of our wedding with her flower magic:) she's so cute and sweet, and she loves the Lord, AND she is a brilliant florist! her name is Diana. click her name to get a glimpse:) just to add to the goodness, zack and i have the sweetest friend capturing our special day which makes it just that much better!!!! oh my gosh to think that it is 28 days away and that we are being blessed with so much goodness through Diana and Erica is bewildering to me but i take it with open arms:) so that was my 24ish hours home for such a lovely day!

me and the best mom in the world:)

mom, me, and janna:)

cc picked the perfect cake!

cheech, me, and the beckers...aura, we MISSED you!

Dorothy and i...friends forever:)

so lovely!

kim, josiah, and i...so much love:)

team canada! alexx, steff, me, and dilarra:)

ok, last weekend there was one more shower and it was the sweetest thing:) Jen and Lena picked a tea party theme which was right in every way! hats, tea, and all:) it was so lovely to have so many new friends come together to celebrate with me, that made me feel so at home and i just was and am bursting with gratitude:) there were different kinds of teas, tea cup projects, yummies, good company...it was just a lovely celebration:) i love how many sweet tea cups were painted for zack and i:) it was just the loveliest day filled with the most lovely friends!

ready for the day.

so lovely!

painting tea cups.

Melissa and i:)

presents!

tea? yes, please:)

the lovely ladies:)

Jen, Lena, and i:)

a cookie jar and a recipe box!

i am really blessed, blessed, blessed:)

a lot to catch up on:)

2011-05-10T18:11:00.000-07:00

and i think i will before this week is over....hopefully:)

here's just a started list:

shower 1

shower 2

home becoming more homey

osama

aps

mva

ywam orlando

i will stop there for now:)

noapte buna!

this guy...

2011-04-28T03:43:00.000-07:00

i'm gonna marry him in just about...44 days:)

these past two weeks or so have been sort of nightmareish in a couple ways not all and not having zack here has been difficult at times so much so that it has left me feeling awfully frustrated. last night we talked for a while and at the end of the conversation i just felt so grateful. that he is a real man. so kind, so understanding, and so loving. his love for me just leaves me speechless and grateful. and i cant wait to not have to be across the US from him. good men are hard to find, it is true, so i am so glad i caught a great one;)

the only logically ok thing about...

2011-04-18T14:39:00.000-07:00

being sick. it is that you are forced to take it easy for a bit...especially when moving makes you want to throw up. resting means listening to music and watching the incredible creativity that comes with it. see below:

can't wait to have zack here with me everyday...sick days included:) love that man:)

big jet plane

2011-04-10T17:15:00.000-07:00

wrote a little something on the ride here:

They just said we can use our approved electronic devices so i decided i would write a bit because i had such a wonderful experience at take off.

Sometimes we forget to think big, think about the big things. We get so caught up in the billion little things that we dont even notice the massive things....like airplanes. We started moving up the run way. A large monster weighing in at around a bagillion tons charging up a run way. The moment we lifted up off the ground my heart jumped. That moment it hit me. And it was a glorified sort of fear/awe/excitment. This beast just lifted off the ground and within minutes will be floating thousands if miles above the earth's surface as if weightless! My heart was jumping out of my chest with excitment. Im not on a plane every day but i do fly more often than the average joe or jane and i forget to think big. God big. Today, im tired and my eyes are on fire from tired but also on fire with excitment for the first time ever while flying. There is a song that has the lyrics "cuz i know that you're alive...and i sing to glorify your holy name, jesus chist...fire fall down on us we pray." Its going off in my head none stop right now. I have only felt emotional during flights due to my human fear, right now it's not that. Its because God is so big. The fact that people can remove God from the picture when we have giants floating in the sky and on the surface of the ocean is so foreign to me. Methods by which we get doctors to africa to care for those suffering from disease and relief into the torn areas of japan and as selfish as it may seem, me to my zack and my family. And ones that can move beyond the earth's atmosphere into the unknown areas of this universe. I don't understand that. Never will. I don't think about this often enough and i wish i did and i suppose only i can change this. I have to. That's all. I just know there is a God. He is all around. In times of hurt, chaos, joy, all of it. He was, is, will be. If he's not, then my life up to know is a lie, meaningless. And every cell in my body is fighting that so it is not true and i write this in complete confidence. I know because i have experienced all of these emotions and a little extra in my life up to present. And these things just confirm his existance. And the fact that i am in the sky right now somewhere in between houston and orlando...closer to orlando by now;) hosanna in the highest. Happy sunday friends. Ps, im flying home from my bridal shower weekend which i will write about soon:)

bed time is a little early tonight. more to come this week...

i just gotta....

2011-03-30T18:08:00.000-07:00

i have mexico work to do but this first because i don't want to forget today. the past couple of days have been a little rough around the edges, for multiple reasons so i'm not going to even dive in. i have been having to really hold on tight to the near and dear and remember gratitude and hope...but it has been tough. we all go through it and make it through it is just when your in it that it seems so fiery.

the lord has been sending goodness my way, i have not been missing it. encouragement from friends, little texts from zack attack, students bringing me poptart presents:) and the list goes on. well, today i got home from school and just cried a little bit. you know when you just need a little cry? it was one of those and i needed it. during my cry a little hurricane or something hit and the cats and i were a tad scared. after that i got to talk to zack for a bit and after decided for a tijuana flats dinner.

on my way out, i noticed that a very large tree fell on the cars of a couple friends which opened the door for a visit with both:) i spoke to jen for a while after and it was so good for my soul. so good. when i sat down in my car. and sat. and sat. and started humming. and singing. he is jealous for me....loves like a hurricane.....i am a tree....bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy. and i cried some more. this song is so rounded. it seems to develop new meaning every few days and today it just went to the next level. God's love is so big. like a hurricane. and as i am beginning to experience intense weather, it is developing into an almost spiritual thing. i don't mean that in a weird way but God is all around us and we are in his creation, weather included so maybe we should sense him in the nature around us.

my night ended with a worship sesh with the hopmans and it was amazing:) all four of us in hunters room, him leading us. oh how he loves. so much goodness. i am glad that God is everything He claims to be.

now for some mexico!

so grateful:)

2011-03-29T18:02:00.000-07:00

love:)
the fort!
lake tour!
he took this of me. i just love him:)
mini golf!
oh the trees.

today was my first day back after spring break and what a wonderful day it was. there are ups and downs in every day but that doesn't mean anything. deal with the downs and love the ups and you're golden:) i thought it would be a good idea to take a break from my mexico reading(a country that my students see as eh, kinda boring, after studying nigeria and iran...no offense...hopefully it will get more exciting when we cover the aztecs and corruption:) before i begin writing about the coming days, as graduation approaches, i have to go back a bit and tell you about my spring break:)

it was WONDERFUL:) the wednesday before break, i signed a contract for year two AND i got this fancy little ring from the man in my life which means, yes, there is going to be a wedding! he came to visit here for a few days since this will be his new home and he brought a few goodies with him, one being the sweet ring. but honestly, i just was so excited for him to be here with me....i cried three days before he left because he was leaving:)

during his visit, we did so much but all so wonderful. we purchased a new beautiful bed. i love it and we get to use all of the cool pillows and blankets we have accumulated over recent years:) we did some traveling around florida and it was amazing! we started off by going to st. augustine, the oldest city in the us! we visited the fort and the old churches and held hands as we walked down the streets and zack took photos:) i loved just watching him. i loved looking at his face and him catching me and us smiling and talking and it was good. i missed him so much. in so many ways. when you have a love of your life, distance is no issue but it doesn't mean you don't miss him;) we enjoyed that place so much and will go back once we are all moved in in the summertime! after st. augustine, we drove to jacksonville for something so special.

john mark mcmillan! we were able to experience him together which was so amazing because one song that has become so special to both of us individually and together is how ho loves and we were a part of something really wonderful that night. i still had stitches in my hand because they refused to take them out on wednesday. zack was so careful and loving to me and to the hand:) jmm was amazing and i will not forget experiencing that with zack anytime soon.

we had an interesting drive home. too many deer. if i don't see another real deer in a very long time, i will be a-ok with that:) zack was a trooper and he got us home and i just loved him more after that night. i can't believe how my love for him grows. but it does and i know that all glory goes to God for such goodness:)

on sunday before church, zack took me to get the ol' stitches out! woot:) the people at the er are just amazing. they got me in and out so that we made it to church in perfect time AND the stitches came out! sunday we had lunch with lena and heather and went home to work on our home:) oh i love, love, love the sound of that! zack made dinner and during dinner he started talking about leaving and i just broke down into lots of tears. the idea of him leaving just ripped my heart to pieces. i know i will see him soon but after having him here and loving it so much, loving him so much, to hear him say those words....blah.

on monday, we spent the day in orlando with jen strahl. it was amazing. she took us all over the place! the beautiful leu gardens, the mexican restaurant with the 'don't drink the water' sign, the winter park lake tour, rollins college tour, a record store, and disney mini golf and a few other locations. we had such a blast! she was the best city guide:)

tuesday oh tuesday, so bittersweet. tuesday we walked around montverde. by the park, the post, the fire station, the equestrian center, and the lake. it was perfect. zack made coffee and we walked and talked and i was thinking about him leaving the next day. but finally decided to enjoy the day completely since he was with me. that night we had dinner with shawn and sean and lena and heather and it was mmm mmm good:) and the cupcakes, unreal:) and duh, we watched hotrod:) love that movie!

well, the following morning, zack got on a plan and now he is living it up in san fran:) having him here was the best gift. just simply the best. i loved every moment. he is such a brilliant man with a brilliant heart and i get him. again, woot:) in just a couple of months we will begin our journey together and God is going to move us to wonderful things, i know it. it's so crazy that it begins here, in small town florida. i love how God works:)

he got fitted for a shirt and bow tie today. God things to come...

back to mexico i go:)

just a thought...

2011-03-10T03:51:00.000-08:00

"People are often unreasonable and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.
If you are honest, people may cheat you. Be honest anyway.
If you find happiness, people may be jealous. Be happy anyway.
The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough. Give your best anyway.
For you see, in the end, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway."

-Mother Teresa

this morning i woke up and read somthing my sister posted and so needed to read it this morning. it is so funny how the Lord just knows our needs and when we need. people will always be people and there's nothing that we can do about that one:) there will always be people with one or more of these characteristics: kind, gentle, honest, humble, selfless, mean, selfish, destructive, manipulative, and the list goes on. luckily we are only responsible for how we behave. when all is said and done, we will have to stand up for the decisions we made in life. for the things we have done. for the ways we treat people. and so on. so i love what Mother Teresa had to say. do you best to do what is right and good and honest because in the end, that is the stuff that really matters. people will always be people and even the best of humanity has been known to make mistakes, but we should strive for good if we can.....and the thing is, we totally can:) thanks beckers, your awesome!

not what i expected...

2011-03-06T15:43:00.001-08:00

this post is not the post that i thought i was going to write today.... at all. i thought i was going to write about the place that has stolen my heart... i guess that will have to wait for another time:) this one is going to be about...well, we shall just call it my "exciting" day.

it started off just as a normal day. i got ready and had a few things to accomplish so i made a mental list and started checking items off. the last two things on my list were lunch and going to class to grade and lesson plan. i started on lunch and was making a pretty yummy one. a nice sandwich with avocado(because i eat them now), a banana(i now eat those too), juice, and snapea crisps. yum, right? i know. well, i got everything ready and moved on to the avocado and well, something went really wrong. as i was getting ready to get the pit out, the knife missed the pit curved down, went through the avocado and about an inch into my hand in between my index and middle finger. can we say nightmare?! yes. it immediately started to bleed very heavily and i tried not to freak out but i did a little bit. i held my hand really tight because it was bleeding so heavily and quickly ran across the hall hoping someone would be there. i didn't know what to do or how to get to the er or anything.

my sweet neighbor was home and she was so wonderful. she helped me and talked to me and really comforted me. the Lord used her presence so wonderfully in my life today. she and her husband are from puerto rico and they love to laugh and that makes me so happy:) she even wrapped my hand in one of victor's shirt. she drove me to the er and her husband led the way. and they sat patiently with me for what seemed like hours....because it was.

i hadn't had anything to eat that day and neither had they so victor ran out to the car and came in with a lovely loaf of cuban bread! they really are the most wonderful people. they did a great job at keeping me distracted from what was coming:) we finally got checked in and the nurse that took my blood pressure and all those other numbers was awesome. she told me i was normal and i quickly blurted out. awesome, can you pass that news along to my family? ehehehe, yanitza, the nurse, and i had such a good laugh. i laughed so much the entire time even though it was the most painful physical thing i have ever experienced. God was so merciful:)

when the nurse came to get me he greeted me by saying he would only treat me if i brought an avocado for him! bah! funny, eh! i laughed and said NO. since all the rooms were full, i had my procedure done in the hallway. which was awesome! yani came in with me and was the best. oh gosh, i was so grateful. there was this little girl watching the whole time. like five. she told me she loved her dad a million and that she was going to teach me hopscotch and she was so stinking cute and sick, the poor dear:( but she ad the others really eased my heart. i had such good conversation with yani, the nurse, the doctor, the little girl. and there were laughs. and God was there in that er, in that hallway. i know He was because that is what eased my heart:) i am growing. today showed that to me. i don't deal with these types of situations well at all. but God is helping me along even in such things. the little things matter to Him too. it's awesome. it hurt. really bad. my hand wouldn't numb so she kept pocking and they hurt. it finally worked and she stitched me up, 7 to be exact, and called it a day. no grading happened because it is 7 and i am in bed. we were there for 4 1/2 hours so i am sleepy to put it lightly and in pain. but God is God and He is good and He's got this:) if you read this, send a little prayer my way:) the numbing is going away and well, ouch.

i read this little excerpt from this book called 'come away my beloved' and it was what i needed for tonight, it goes something like this:

o child, do not expect the trials to be lighter than in the past. why should you think the tests would be less severe? i test all things and there are areas of your life that as of yet, i have not touched. do not look for respite. the days ahead may call for greater endurance and more robust faith than you ever needed before. welcome this, for you must surely know how precious are the lessons learned through such experiences. even if you are unable to fully anticipate them with joy, you can certainly gain an appropriate appreciation of them in retrospect. apply your hearts to learn wisdom. this goal transcends every other aim, and any other good that comes out of a pressure period is an added blessing in excess. seek me above all else.

'if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him.' James 1:5

photos from my day-

my first meal of the day

right after they told me i was getting a tetanus shot. yani was quick with the camera:)

yikes.

my pink, swollen, throbbing hand.

i'm off to bed. victor and yanitza just brought me extra strength tylenol. they are grand:) over and out.

living gratitude, being a prisoner of hope, and so on....

2011-02-24T12:33:00.000-08:00

i have been sick for the past two weeks. it went from a stomach virus to a headache, to a cough, to an ear infection. and all leading up to a doctor's visit. i should be miserable right but truth be told, i'm not. i have a huge pile of papers on my desk ready to be graded and a unit exam tomorrow and i'm not feeling so hot, but my heart is full. it has something to do with this being a prisoner of hope year. i decided that even though it would be hard, i was going to give myself over to hope. and from that, i have been exposed to this new kind of gratitude. actually living with a heart of gratitude. bad things are always going to happen. there will always be bad people in the world. but it is in those realities that gratitude and hope become more and more real. it is in those uglynesses of life that the gifts surface and shine and become real. and we hold on and appreciate on a deeper level.
i can't wait to feel better. i can't wait to grade my papers. i can't wait to give this test...my students will show it who's boss:) i am so grateful. grateful that I have a God who has been faithful, is faithful, and will continue to be faithful. people will always disappoint, that's why we don't put our faith in people.

or-land-o:)

2011-02-22T17:49:00.000-08:00

i love it. yesterday, jen and i went to downtown to pick up some goodies and it was brilliant. it really is such a fantastic city:)

del taco in florida? yes!...no...i didn't eat all of that....i was going to try....it didn't work out:)
jen and i....woot:)
most amazing art shop.

and this made me smile:) i'm going back....and soon! and i will post again seeing as there are so many things to share... it is the time thing that is at times problematic;)

brilliant:)

2011-02-22T17:35:00.000-08:00

my students. they just are. they leave me notes on my board before they leave. see below:
witty if you ask me:)
they bring me fresh squeezed orange juice!
and when they see things like cute mickey button pins, they think of me:)

unreal. i love it. i am so grateful:)

so about MAIT...

2011-01-24T17:07:00.000-08:00

i know, three post in one day. i have to take advantage of the time i have because it is rare that i have time to post:) the crazy thing is, these past three or possibly for posts have been about sports...that is so unlike me. don't get too awfully used to it:) this week is MAIT and it has everything to do with basketball. i get to witness some of the most amazing high school basketball players in the nation. they are my students:) i am not saying they are amazing because i am trying to build up their esteem...they really are amazing....ask espn. they will tell you so:)

these boys are from all around. they live here in the dorms just like the soccer boys. and they are each other's biggest fans! i mean it. you will never not have chaos at a soccer game because the basketball boys will always be there hooting and hollering and making noise with these clapper things. and the soccer boys always support their friends on the court. it is just such a family here. these boys are brilliant. yes, on the court. but in the classroom as well. these boys desire education. they are hungry for it and that is what teachers desire to see in their students. i love being able to cheer for them in the classroom but on the court as well.

these boys are so brilliant and their coaches and all of us know it. purple and gold. i am just so grateful to be able to be a part of so much goodness:)

honored. proud. you name, i'm probably feeling it:)

MAIT pep....

2011-01-24T16:44:00.000-08:00

rally! it was the most amazing pep rally i have ever been to...in my life. and i am not exaggerating. the lights, the smoke, the loud music, the glow sticks, the spirit talons, all of the purple and gold. it was pure brilliance and thanks to students like kelli keeler and so many other greats:) i went over with my lovely friend mindy and when we walked in, students were handing out school spirit goodies to everyone walking in. everything started shortly after. all of the teams were announced and the pep nband played and the cheerleaders and step team did their thing and after, the games began! the games, you say? oh yes, the games! there were get super dizzy and fall over games, there was tug of war, and there was pie your teachers in the face games. the students ate it up and it was just such a neat thing to not only get to witness, but the be a part of! everyone was there together and it was just such a family like thing and that made it nothing short of wonderful!

this was sort of the kick of to a really exciting week in which the basketball team will get to shine:)

get to know these faces. they are some of the greatest people:) i am so excited for tomorrow. who gets to wear hot pink tights tomorrow? i do:)

Before MAIT...

2011-01-24T16:25:00.000-08:00

i want to talk about one other thing. MAIT is the thing i told you about in the last post and i have more to say about it but before i go there, i want to mention another special group here at Montverde. before i go there, just in case you are new, i got a job at one of the neatest places...ever:) and well, it is safe to say that i am super living it up:) and sometimes, i just have to talk about this place because i want those of you who i love dearly to see the goodness i am in:) so you don't worry too much about me...:)

this year soccer team is the best that Montverde has ever seen in its history. true story because this week, they were acknowledged for that very thing. i have a number of these guys in my classes and if there is one thing i can say about them, it is that they are not just soccer players. they are some of the nicest students any teacher could ask for. ALL of my students are but how many teachers can say they love even the students who play sports? i can:) easily. they don't expect to be handed anything. they work for their grades the same way they work on the field to be the best. and that is such a special thing. these boys know a lot about brotherhood too. because they are very far away from home. so they are like brothers and their friendships sort of make me teary sometimes. they live in the same dorms, they eat their meals together, they attend class together, they play soccer together, they laugh together, and i am sure they miss home together. they are no only teammates, they are like a million little and big brothers and i love that. and they are absolutely incredible on the soccer field. they may be in high school but boy oh boy, they are brilliant. the first time i saw them play, they looked like they were dancing on that field! they really are brilliant individuals that are so easy to admire. what a neat place to be. how blessed i truly am:)

i know you don't see much when you google Montverde....that's because it's pretty much the best kept secret around;) there is a student here who loves taking photos and he took these of the soccer boys recently:

i am so blessed to be here. i couldn't have drawn up a better life picture for myself. ever.

can we say EXCITED? all togetha now!

2011-01-20T03:08:00.000-08:00

so this morning, i got into my classroom, dropped my things off, and headed for the caf to get a cup of coffee. on my way out, i decided to check my mailbox and there it was! what you ask? my MAIT shirt! this coming week begins a week of so much goodness here at Montverde and this year, i get to be a part of it! and i am so excited! MAIT is this neat little basketball tournament which actually isn't that little...i think it is the coolest thing in high school basketball nation wide...pretty amazing if you ask me:)

back to work. happy thursday which means friday is in site!

ryan minor.

2011-01-17T10:40:00.000-08:00

ryan minor is my friend. he is the husband of one amazing brittney and the father of one ben and one chloe. AND he is one of the most amazing musicians. what he creates... it is fire. if you know anything about me at all, hopefully my love for music is part of it. for ever and ever, i have just loved music. i have never prided myself in being the best or in knowing the most, but i sure do love the stuff. i love listening, imagining, breaking it down. well, i remember when ryan asked if i would record with him and my first reaction was surprise.... why? because i knew he played at church sometimes but had no idea that he made his own music. and when he sent me the first track, i sat there quietly for minutes in more shock. why? because it was brilliant. it was real, raw. boy oh boy, i was super excited.

he sent me the tracks and i was able to listen, love, and learn. and a few weeks ago we sat down and recorded and it was just wonderful. how do you listen? easy peasy:)

go here:

click this

and listen!

and you know what else? it is a free download. so don't be silly just visit and download:) and if it isn't for you, well, it isn't. but it just might be so give it a chance:) happy day friends:)

week one gone, another one...two...three...on the way:)

2011-01-17T10:23:00.000-08:00

week one has passed and what a week it was. i am still feeling a little bit exhausted and i am about to start another one:) but it is important that you understand that i enjoyed every moment of my tiresome week. being back in the classroom, meeting new students, seeing old students. all of it so wonderful:) christmas time was wonderful. there is nothing i would change about it, nothing. i was able to be with the people i love most in this world and well, if that isn't amazing...i think i might not understand the meaning of amazing if that isn't amazing:) my loved tank was overfilled and that is so good. i don't usually refer to anything as a love tank but what the heck. i was able to record one of the loveliest albums during my break. something that turned out so lovely and something that has begun one inspirational journey. it was just a beautiful time.

i must say however, it is so nice to be here again. i missed the place, the faces, all of it. and to be here again, it is quite nice, refreshing. i loved being in my classroom and students stopping in to say hello. i love preparing for my school days. i love being a part of mosaic. i love all of it. oh how my Father is faithful, amen:) i love being with chloe and toby. even though chloe is dreadful sometimes, i love her. this week, she gave me a fright and i hated it so much. i accidently smashed her tail in the door and i cried. she was just a disaster but rest assured, her tail is on the mend and will have a full recovery....phew! toby, he is just calm and there. chloe, she is crazy:) i like them both very much.

this past week has been so crazy but so exciting. so many good things are here and so many good things are to come! this weekend especially. i was on duty and i got to spend a lot of time with students. that also allowed for some wonderfully exciting skype dates since i was here all weekend. i am sitting in the gym currently watching students play basketball....and i think some of the boys are lifting a lot of weights or something because the weight room is loud.

tomorrow begins a new day but i am enjoying today. it's the little things, you know. the little things that make up our days. and we have to enjoy them and be grateful. it is the third week of this year. my third week as a prisoner of hope. cheers to this new year, this new week, this day. how good it is to be alive, to be loved, to be able to love, and so on and so on. more to come:)

there's something about it.

2011-01-15T14:27:00.000-08:00

do you ever look at a photograph and there is just something about it? you don't know what but there is. me too:) and they just inspire you or make you smile or feel something.

this one is because chloe and i, we work something like this...

and because this is the only way a car should float...

and because i imagine this is REALLY what people want when they seek water beds...

and because i am ok with being smaller than my imagination...

and because...well, self explanatory....

also, because there are few things better than buttons...

and because books are the keys to the world...

and because there is always a remedy...

and also because if books open up the world, where shall we sleep?...

and because we are meant to be travelers....

and because perhaps this is how we will get there...

and because there is nothing like a good pair of tap shoes...

and lastly, because i believe this. oh, how i do.

cheers to all the little somethings that make every day good.

beginning a new year...

2011-01-06T09:58:00.000-08:00

with a new set of eyes on:) with a new mentality. with new vision. as ryan minor said, as a prisoner of hope. this year i decided to make it my year of being ok with having hope. and a few days ago, i sat down with ryan minor, for what ended up being the coolest recording session ever, and he said the words prisoner of hope and it clicked! that's what i was looking for to define the year for me. i am choosing to be a prisoner of hope. a believer in hope. i have been told that my dreams were too big in the past. there were times where i was made to feel bad or guilty for wanting to hope for and do big things. i learned quickly enough what nonsense that was and is. our God is so big and He isn't a liar. and well, who are we to think that if he wanted to move mountains with us that He couldn't? He totally could....if He wanted to:)

i'm glad that i am a visionary. some of my hopes are crazy but it is ok to hope. it is ok to want to reach things that are bigger than ourselves. and God's glory can shine so brightly when He actually takes us there and beyond! the beyond is key because somehow, His plans are so much bigger than our own and He always seems to exceed any expectations that we may have! THAT my friends, is crazy. but we serve a God that does some pretty crazy stuff....trust me, i know this for a fact:)

this year started off too crazy for words. days before it even began, things were getting so amazing and for my little mind, unbelievable. it was a trip i took just before the new year that confirmed my desire to make this a year of believing in hope. it was that same trip that made me break my rule of no new year resolutions. i don't really ever go there...because i would break them, i know:) well, this year i only made one. that i would live with hope this year. that i would believe in hoping for the big things. why? because, why not? if God is who He's says He is, and i am pretty sure He is, than i should believe that He can do big things. and have hope. and i am going to do my best to be there every day. i know this will come with challenges but it's ok. that is life in general. challenges are the things that grow us, so i'm ok with them.

on monday, i got to do something pretty great. i sat down with my friend ryan minor and recorded music for eight hours. and it was amazing. because i was able to spend time with him and his wonderful wife and my friend brittney, and their most amazing kiddos, ben and chloe:) he is a brilliant musician, lyricist, all of it. i felt so honored to be a part of it and last night i listened to some and seriously, God is awesome. because He gives us things like music. getting to know Ryan as a person, he and his sweet family, it makes sense to me that God would pour music into him. He touches people with music and that has to be one of the most amazing things. the fact that we can make such lovely sounds with objects like guitars and that our voices are capable of such sounds and that they can work together to be awesome. it was during that session that we talked about how hope is key. and how awesome it is that we can surrender ourselves and become slaves to God. which is way better than doing it on my own. because truth be known, i so suck at doing it on my own, i know this too because i have tried, we all have and do, and learn quick folks, in this case, just give up.

gotta go, lunch date:) when i get permission to post a song, i am going to. have a lovely day. this is a bit rambly, sorry! happy thursday.

1.1.11

2011-01-01T13:36:00.000-08:00

today is that day. january 1st. it comes around once a year and it tends to be a pretty kick back sort of day considering the late night that comes just before:) it is a new day. but more importantly, it is the beginning of a brand new year. one that i know the Lord will mold into what He wants it to be. a year in which His glory will shine. yesterday has gone, today is here. this is the day we have, and we have the ability to live well in it, if we chose to do so.

cheers to the beginning of a new year, a new chapter in the book. something good:)

the end of 2010

2010-12-31T13:54:00.000-08:00

what a year it has been. one that will be important for the rest of my life. it was one i will look back on thirty years from now because it brought about so many significant things. so much pain and in the midst, joy, growth, love. it was a year in which i learned about myself and other people. it was the year that the meaning of love became real to me. it was the year that i stopped believing that all people are good, they are not. it was the year that i learned that there are so many good people all around. it was the year that i started to believe in what the Lord was doing with all my heart. it was the year that i learned that bad things happen for good reasons. for great reasons even. it was the year that the glory of God in everything became real to me. it was a year of highs and lows but we have to grateful for the highs and lows and we have to find that faith, you know, of a mustard seed, to be able to trust and be grateful for all of it, high or low. and we have to know that even the low can be so good when all is said and done. it was the year of so many things. i can go on forever. but a new one is coming. God was in this one, He will be in the next one:) He will have control and i am going to be there for the greatest ride:)

happy new year. cheers!

so much...

2010-12-30T21:26:00.000-08:00

goodness coming your way! but for now watch this:) i'm so sleepy but all smiles. God is good. amen and amen

love, love, love.
good night:)

christmas at home- part dos:)

2010-12-25T08:52:00.001-08:00

on tuesday, i was able to spend the morning with kim and ashley and i got my haircut and just love, love, love it! thank you ashley:) after the haircut, kim, linda, jenna, and myself went to las brasas(LOVE) and had yummy mexican. oh, i missed them. the conversation was wonderful and they are such lovely ladies.

on thursday, i got a visit from robishka and janell and that was the best. we sat down for hours and just talked and laughed and had such a nice time. we ate too....you will never leave my mom's house hungry...NEVER:) and i received the neatest gifts! one homemade sufjan stevens piggy bank and one very beautiful owl blanket, very beautiful. thank you:)

after my sweet friends left, aura and i planted ourselves in the living room and watched desperate housewives....ehehehehehe, we really did:) oh gosh, that is a blog for another day:) i just love being home. i love seeing sweet faces all around me. i love getting to catch up. i love my family. i love what this trip has been thus far and am looking forward to more! i will have another christmas post, um, tomorrow? it will cover Christmas eve and day! MERRY CHRISTMAS:)

love,

roxi

christmas at home-part 1:)

2010-12-25T08:37:00.000-08:00

it is christmas morning and what an exciting time:) we take this time to remember the birth of our Savior. we take this time to remember that we serve a God who was completely willing to empty Himself and to become flesh and blood and to walk humbly among His creation as one of them. and that is AMAZING. and we have so much to be grateful for.

this is part one of christmas at home. it has been so wonderful being here with my family and seeing friends. on sunday, we had our annual gingerbread house battle and the results...well, they were pretty awesome. both teams worked very hard and in the end, one had to win. AND it was the ladies:) but the guys were so creative and they built a spaceship and they were awesome. we had such a neat time and it was the perfect way to begin Christmas week. together and with fun.

a worthy update...

2010-12-21T15:47:00.001-08:00

at least i think so, and you might too:)

i got a haircut:)

home:)

2010-12-18T19:14:00.000-08:00

i'm home and happy and i feel so sleepy so i'm off to bed:)

overwhelmed....

2010-12-15T13:40:00.000-08:00

by the kindness i'm getting from my students. seriously, i kinda like finals week. because students come by and they sit and we get to chat. i like getting to know them. in getting to actually talk, i learn even more and more, how blessed i am to be a part of tis crazy amazing community. and even beyond that, they have been showering me with smiles and cards and little presents and i just feel like there is no way to really express how grateful i am:)

just an ordinary day...

2010-12-15T07:04:00.001-08:00

sort of. i have grading...ap exam grading to be even more specific. wowee. that is all i can say about it.

so i took a break and looked at photos:) because....i like to look at photos, especially nice ones:) that's it, and i think that is a perfectly good explanation.

because books are full of stories...

and kids just like to have fun...

and everyone likes a good cup of tea...

and there is nothing like dancing in an open field...

and the greatest thinkers thought their best in solitude..

and because west side story is just the loveliest...

and someday we will take a train...

and because different is ok...

and hot air balloons open eyes to the lovely world below...

and because everyone likes a good tree...

and this last one...it's because i just want the outfit. i like it...so much:)

and just a bonus:) i mean, who doesn't love to be inspired???

when...

2010-12-15T06:52:00.001-08:00

big kids have sleepovers, i am pretty sure they are supposed to look something like this:)

happy wednesday.

older folks...

2010-12-11T12:01:00.001-08:00

you know what i mean, old people. i was thinking about old people quite a bit and everything around me sort of pointed to them. from a student talking about saving old people from drowning because he is a life guard to driving down the road and seeing the saturday morning group sit in a circle on the corner of the street for their saturday morning hand out:) all of it. so what about old people? are they just old and getting older? what about them? well, that is such a funny question because i absolutely love old people. you know when you look at someone and their soul is just oozing out of them and it makes your heart jump? old people have the ability to do that to people. age is beauty. i know it. because as you live and experience more life, it does something to you. it grows you as a person and your beauty grows from the inside to the outside. old people have the ability to just melt me in the deepest spots of my heart. they know life. they are the reason we are what we are today. they paved the roads. there is so much beauty in that.

if you know me, you know owls are my absolute favorite. it has a lot to do with the fact that owls represent wisdom, something we should all be seeking to gain more of. you should never be ok with just existing. you should have ambition for life. people who are ok with shooting others down for having vision exist and unfortunately they are all around. but if you have a vision, follow it! and don't you dare let anyone convince you that there is something wrong with you because you have dreams. shame on anyone who would step on another person because they have goals.

old people, there is something about them. they make me feel like my goals, my dreams, like they are possible. they make me have hope. not some unrealistic fantasy. just hope, that they made it and are still going strong, so it is ok for me to know that God knows exactly what He is doing and He's doing it. and nothing silly i do can stop Him:)

i noticed that on saturday mornings, there is this group of old people by the shop. they have chairs set up in a circle and they sit and just hang out:) i love that so much. i was listening to this song called new day by the Robbie Seay band just as i was driving by and it said:

and it might not be the prettiest thing you ever did see.

i was thinking about how we see older people. our eyes lie to us when we look at them because there is no beauty like the beauty of older people. they are the most beautiful. them and new babies. there is something really special about both. people in general are beautiful and i love them, but old people....they are just awesome:)

WATCH THIS:)

quick thought...a little scattered perhaps:)

2010-12-08T17:28:00.000-08:00

this has to be one of the loveliest songs. i think the lyrics, they are just a perfect love song. one that we should sing to our sweet Jesus daily. i just think He must long to hear us say i am your, i am yours, i am your forever. i really believe this, more so, i think i just know it is true in the core of my heart. i listened to it a few times and it just made me all teary. this morning i was sitting in my advisory and i was able to have the sweetest conversations with one of the sweetest gals ever. and she said something so nice. basically, that all the pieces fit for me being here, in the classroom. and i believe it. it is one of those things. one of those things we don't really believe. that if we just surrender, He will meet our needs. we suck at really believing that. because life happens and well, sometimes we just don't have time to go there or we just choose not to or whatever. which is fine. to each his/her own. for me, well, i need that. i need that surrender. i need to just know that i DON'T need to be in control because luckily there is someone out there who actually knows what He's doing and he's got me covered:)

these past few weeks have been sort of earth shaking for me. for a couple reasons. big ones. God has just shown Himself so clearly in so many undeniable ways. well, i guess if someone chose to deny it they could, i can't. i don't know, my heart just feels grateful, full, hopeful. it is nice. long awaited. `

yesterday during 7th period, something pretty amazing happened. in a classroom of 15 people, including myself, we were able to sing happy birthday to one special gal in ELEVEN different languages. i don't think i will ever forget that. that was such a special moment. like i said, i am so grateful:) really looking forward to going home in just a little over one week. see ya soon:)

monday morning, review, and so on...

2010-12-06T03:49:00.000-08:00

it is monday morning. still mostly dark out and somewhere in the 50's:) perfect if you ask me. it is so hard to believe that this time next week, students will be taking finals and two weeks from now, i will be home with family:) ah, the sweetness:) last week was so....full of hope. i wish i could come up with a more beauitful way to describe it but you know, to say that something is full of hope. sometimes that is a lot. and i feel like that expresses so much for me these days. i love that. i love that simple words, concepts, have so much meaning and are so powerful. and that i don't need more.

this weekend was just beauitful. too busy and i wasn't able to do some pretty important things but the things i did get finished and the things i was able to do and conversations i was able to have...my heart was filled. it is crazy to live one day at a time. when we do, there is something new and exciting everyday. things don't become little and not important. everything counts. i like that.

this week is review week because next week is finals week which means that i survived first semester! and it was brilliant:) that had a lot to do with my lovely students:)

it is almost Christmas, a time for family fun, celebration, love, miracles, the list could just go on forever:) enjoy today. cheers to a lovely season!

angel tree.

2010-12-02T10:01:00.000-08:00

there is this thing called angel tree. if you know about it, do it. if you don't know about it, it is a good thing and maybe you should do it if you can:) a few weeks ago Mosaic announced that they were going to be participating in angel tree and that made me so happy. kids whose parents are not able to be with them for christmas because the parents are in prison get presents for Christmas from their parents and we can make it happen:) it is such a beautiful thing and it is so right because those sweet little kiddos get to open something on Christmas morning and the best part is that the card is signed mom or dad:) i did my shopping yesterday and the day before and found the perfect wrapping paper and wrapped last night. Chloe tried to help and after a lot of work, she got sleepy(the truth is, i was pretty sleepy too:) and was ready for bed:)

it is almost christmas. i go home in 16 days:) see you soon:)

thanksgiving

2010-11-28T14:11:00.000-08:00

this thanksgiving was different for me. for many reasons, one of the biggest was being away from home. not being with the people that mean the most to me. me being here, them being on the other coast and in tennessee. i wasn't too sure how it was going to go. well, it was lovely:) the Lord really provided such a wonderful day with the most delightful families. i felt grateful that i was able to be a part of that. good company, good food, fun games. happy day:)

ticket!

2010-11-27T19:33:00.000-08:00

speeding ticket? parking violation ticket? ticket to a show? NOPE! a plane ticket...HOME:) see you so soon southern california! it will be a lovely three weeks, i know it:) good night and good night. or as they say in romania...and in the united states too and other places too...if you are romanian or maybe you just like the language or something of that nature...noapte buna:)

morning...

2010-11-27T07:28:00.000-08:00

i like mornings. everything is quiet. nature and man asleep. i went for a little walk this morning. it is gloomy and cold out. perfect. and i had my little friend, ipod, with me. this song, it came on. i hit repeat. and this is all i listened to for the rest of my walk.

i thought about the fact that God, He is always with us. always. i smiled. and breathed in all of the goodness around me.

happy saturday.

WHOA!!!

2010-11-20T06:11:00.000-08:00

why i love sufjan. because he is brilliant.

just to catch up:)

2010-11-17T17:58:00.001-08:00

three in one day? yes. it is so hard to keep up to date:) things here are so busy. all of my days just sort of collide and sometimes i just forget and need to post a few things in one day. i think a little while back i wrote about a few students from the school signing with pretty well known universities and some of them are mine:) well, first and only, the students here, they are really smart. i mean it. and here are some photos of that afternoon:)

good noche:)

thanksgiving feast 2010

2010-11-17T16:25:00.000-08:00

last night we had Thanksgiving feast at Montverde and i just have to say it was such a lovely night. the amazing students were there. a few sweet parents. the wonderful faculty and kitchen staff. the food was yum and just the entire night was exactly right:)

the nicest surprise:)

2010-11-17T16:13:00.000-08:00

this morning was very routine. i woke up at 4. got ready...it was a little painful this morning, i was tired:) walked to class in the dark and enjoyed every moment. walked into mckenzie and said hi to Cindy, the sweetest lady:) sat down and worked. got coffee. worked a bit more. and something amazing happened. i went across the hall and as i was chatting with my neighbor, lovely Jen S. peeked her head in so i stepped out. she had a lovely box in her hands with a sweet red ribbon bow. you see, once upon a time i had mentioned my love for cranberries and Jen, she remembered:) and she made me a cranberry pie!!! and let me just say that not only is it the best cranberry pie i have ever had, i am pretty sure that it is the best pie i have ever had...period. i took one little bit this morning when i dropped it off and this evening, i had one very large, yummy slice:) oh my goodness, what a treat. Jen, you are so amazing!

and as if that weren't enough, it came with a sweet heart cutout on top! i don't have the recipe but i will ask and if i have success in getting it, i will surely post the recipe because everyone should have some of this pie:) YUM! YUM! YUM! i have to make treats for Thanksgiving, this would be a good one!....speaking of thanksgiving, i will write about Thanksgiving feast next. it was so lovely:)

stunning

2010-11-15T18:26:00.000-08:00

if you read this, please listen. angels. that's all i can think of as i'm listening.

http://bit.ly/cQPK5V

good night:)

gratitude.

2010-11-14T15:53:00.001-08:00

this week was long. good but long. my eyes are burning. i have important phone calls to return. emails to respond to. i am sorry for my delay. tonight was so full. my heart literally feels like it might burst so i just need to write it down before i go back to grading and lesson planning. tonight i was able to participate in CCC and it was possible a favorite for me because the topic was thankfulness. if you know me on a deep level, you know that thanksgiving is quite possibly my favorite day of the year, even more so than my birthday. that one is actually pretty far down the list:) the students were able to compliment one another and they learned about gratitude. and a dance team camp and did a piece about the ultimate sacrifice and it was beautiful. Mindy asked if i would share something very special to me heart with the students and at first i was a bit hesitant about it but everything in me said do it. a few weeks ago, i wrote a little song for my mom and pop. i have been writing a bit lately and that is something i am so grateful for and getting to express my gratitude through song for my parents is special. and i was able to share it with some really amazing Montverde students and faculty tonight. i was honored.

as i was up there singing, it hit me. literally, i was taken back to many many years ago and it hit me. God is so big. i remembered when my mom's papa died. i remember the day that friends came over to mourn with her. i remember that she wasn't able to be by his side, she wasn't able to say goodbye. i remember the tears. i didn't understand. tonight, while i was on stage singing their love song, it hit me just how great the sacrifice of my parent's was and how it continues to be. that they left their parents, their siblings, their lives, all of it behind. for me. for aura. for cheech. for joe. and bec and joni. i can't believe i didn't burst into tears. God was with me.

i am grateful. i am grateful that my mom and dad has such big hearts for their four little ones at the time. that they saw more than what they were living and that they fought for dearest life to bring us to a nation of freedom and opportunity. i am grateful that they knew that there was only one way to raise us, all six of us, and that was in the way of the Lord. i am grateful that they showed us love for the Lord and what it meant to fear the Lord and that really, that means loving the Lord:) i am grateful that no matter how stupid we have been, and trust me between the six of us, that is a lot of stupid here and there, that their love has been and continues to be true and unconditional. i am grateful that they loved us enough to love us tough. sometimes people think there is no necessity for tough love. that is a lie. there is.

i am grateful that there is so much love between the eight of us. it is explosive. i am grateful that sometimes just the mere thought of my family makes me explode into tears. i am grateful that i have the most beautiful siblings on this planet. yes, they are cute, but i'm not talking about that. i am talking about the fact that they are one of a kind. our relationships to one another are full and we are apart but when you love someone, distance can't matter. because love is bigger. and i trust in that, especially from my mama and papa and from my siblings. they are each unique. they radiate with joy and life and when i am home, my heart is heavy with love from being around them. that, my friends, is not good, it is brilliant. i am grateful that some of the most Godly love has come from these individuals in time of great confusion and pain and without judgement or hatred. i am grateful that when we are together we laugh so much it hurts. and that we can share tears together. and that the hardest times in our lives have made us that much stronger. that instead of falling apart, we are bound together. and we share hugs. and kisses. and we eat together. and play BOARD GAMES together! oh, God is so good. so good.

i am grateful that i have never received as much encouragement from any people as i have from my family. i am grateful that when God is moving they don't hesitate to push, like coming here to Florida. it was painful for them to see me go. it was painful for me. but they knew the Lord was moving and they said ok. and that is the kind of love that is so good.

thanksgiving will be hard this year because i won't be home for the first time. but i am going to be in a good place with wonderful friends. friends that i am thankful for. the Lord did not bring me here to be alone. He has provided in the most beautiful ways. in ways that i have never experienced. He is moving me to new levels and that is beautiful.

i have to stop because my stomach is telling me that it needs food and i have so much work but i just needed to get that out. i will continue this gratitude thing in the next couple days because the Lord is just giving and giving. love, inspiration, healing, friendship, wisdom, growth, HOPE. and i don't want to forget it. so i will share it with you by writing:)

noapte buna friends:)

- family, i love you so deeply and Christmas, it can't come soon enough.

FRIDAY..

2010-11-12T04:07:00.000-08:00

today is that day:)

hard not to love this:)

enjoy everything about this day. don't be a negative nancy, find something good in it;)

feeling

2010-11-11T18:01:00.000-08:00

a whole lot of this right now.

amiina Kippi og vinir í Undralandi from amiina on Vimeo.

good night.

life.

2010-11-11T12:33:00.000-08:00

it is such a beautiful thing. yes, there is ugly. but without the ugly, you can rarely get to the beauty. both are necessary. one opens your eyes, your mind, your heart, all of your senses to the other. i don't know that i ever believed this as much as i do now. i love that God is so big. so creative. that He is moving. that He never removes Himself from our picture...we do that. but even when that happens, He is just there waiting. today, there is a lot of good and a lot of beauty in the air:)

2010-11-08T15:29:00.000-08:00

18 “Forget the former things;
do not dwell on the past.
19 See, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the wilderness
and rivers in the desert.
20 The wild animals honor me,
the jackals and the owls,
because I provide water in the wilderness
and rivers in the desert,
to give drink to my people, my chosen,
21 the people I formed for myself
that they may proclaim my praise.

i had the most beautiful conversation about these little verses and i can't wait to write about it later on. these verses really just move me. streams in the desert, rivers in the desert. rivers please. AMAZING. AMAZING. AMAZING.

happy harvest:)

2010-11-07T11:54:00.000-08:00

i just finished a majority of my grading so i really wanted to take a few moments to post a few thoughts. yesterday was a really miserable day for me. i am not exaggerating, i truly was just not a happy camper the slightest bit. you see, i was supposed to see sufjan. ticket bought, day planned out, everything good to go. and i have waited years and years for this and the time had finally arrived. right, well, it didn't happen. i was shocked, mad, sad, irritated. you name it, i was feeling it. my car decided it was going to have issues and that they were going to be major enough that it would prohibit my travel to see sufjan. i was miserable, like i said. i cried, i napped, i cried some more. oh gosh, it was just a disaster. i know this may seem silly to some of you but the truth is, i don't care. please don't take offense, it is just that if you know me, you know how important this was to me, and you would not think it silly at all:)

i had some very wonderful individuals talking me through the process. they made the misery a little less but i don't know that i will ever really be ok about missing that show. last night i was able to spend some time with lena and it was exactly what the doctor ordered.....ehehehehehe:) we talked and laughed and shopped til we dropped and at the end of the night had some so yum vegetarian chili. thank the Lord for good chili:) seriously, that time was so good for my achy heart. they have christmas already. and dude the dog has antlers.

today was just a blessing. not in disguise, just outright in the open. i woke up and had a few a few very nice surprises:) among them were a very nice youtube video, a very nice email, and one very nice short story written about a photo i posted a few posts ago:) you are still invited to contribute. the one i got, i will post it soon! mosaic had their annual harvest festival and it was a really neat thing to be a part of. really. they set up outside in the open. stage, booths, food, everything. and gave thanks. it was a time to acknowledge how abundantly the Lord gives. how lovely is that?! there was music. we sang how great thou art and oh my goodness, i felt like my heart was going to explode when we began to sing the lines:

When Christ shall come,

With shouts of acclamation,

And take me home,

What joy shall fill my heart!

Then I shall bow

In humble adoration

And there proclaim,

"My God, how great Thou art!"

i looked up at the sky and the clouds were quickly passing by. it was so cold and breezy and perfect. and the Lord was in our midst. and i couldn't help it, i just wept. it was just so beautiful and the thought of the Lord returning to gather His people, it is just the most perfect thought. it was such a beautiful time listening to the singing all around out in nature. renaut gave a beautiful message. just beautiful. and after, he acknowledged orphan sunday which just moved me to the core. families from the church spoke about their adoption experiences. from local to international and the Lord's anointing was and is so obvious on them. beautiful children and beautiful individuals who so willing and sacrificially opened their homes to welcome these ever so precious little ones. such sweet moments listening to their stories. one family even said they were in the process of bring home another child from the ukraine. i love that. oh that we would just desire to somehow reach out to the orphans, the widows, those in need. it was just a nice service. afterwards, the festival began and the people were wearing big smiles:) it was so nice. and marlena and i took a photo togetha:)

wowee:)

caleb and marlena...quote unquote.

and mom, this one is for you:) don't mind the trucks in the background:)

it is a time of thanksgiving. remember to always be thankful. for so many things. i've got ccc tonight so back to grading!

ps...i just found out i am going to be part of an iron chef club...aura, be so jealous:) or just start your own, all the cool kids are doing it.

rainy days...

2010-11-04T03:57:00.000-07:00

swan lake + a rainy day = perfect:)

dear florida,

2010-11-03T14:36:00.001-07:00

tonight i am wearing cowboy boots. ok? ok.

who would win????

2010-11-02T06:17:00.000-07:00

in an all out war between red gummy bears and swedish fish.

this has been keeping me up at night lately. if you give me an answer, make it good, and hopefully, it settles the issue. over and out.

tuesday...

2010-11-02T03:07:00.001-07:00

i know i'm a few day late with october, but october is probably one of my favorite poems year round. it belongs to robert frost. if you are not familiar, you should be:)

O hushed October morning mild,
Thy leaves have ripened to the fall;
To-morrow's wind, if it be wild,
Should waste them all.
The crows above the forest call;
To-morrow they may form and go.
O hushed October morning mild,
Begin the hours of this day slow,
Make the day seem to us less brief.
Hearts not averse to being beguiled,
Beguile us in the way you know;
Release one leaf at break of day;
At noon release another leaf;
One from our trees, one far away;
Retard the sun with gentle mist;
Enchant the land with amethyst.
Slow, slow!
For the grapes' sake, if they were all,
Whose leaves already are burnt with frost,
Whose clustered fruit must else be lost--
For the grapes' sake along the wall.
good day.

my little home:)

2010-11-01T18:15:00.000-07:00

you have asked and now i am responding with photos:)

hopefully that is enough to convince you to come visit me:) you should, and when you do, you might like it SO much, that you end up staying:) good night and good night.

happy halloweeeeeen:)

2010-10-31T16:05:00.000-07:00

i was an owl:)

chloe, she was an owl too:)

and we are the same colors, so we are probably from the same parliament:)

eat lots of candy:) be safe:)

saturday.

2010-10-31T12:28:00.000-07:00

stories...

2010-10-30T09:05:00.000-07:00

i love them. i love telling them, i love writing them, i love listening to them. the other day i posted a really neat photo as my profile photo on facebook and a friend of mine told me that i get the photo of the month award for it. Robert also suggested that i have people write up a story about that photo. his exact words:

{you win "coolest profile pic of the month" award. You should have people write in and tell a story based on this pic. 'Course you'd get the last laugh cause you were there and only you know the true story. And as they say "truth is stranger than fiction".}

SO, if you read this, look at this photo, and if you would be so kind, write a story about it. whatever comes to mind. i would love to hear from you. you can post it or email it (opris.r@gmail.com) to me or whatever. just do it. it might be a fun activity if you don't have anything to do, or it might just be fun even if you do have something to do.

off to work, yes, work doesn't end on weekends:)

32 years.

2010-10-29T03:07:00.000-07:00

today my parents celebrate being married for 32 years:) they fell in love in romania and made their way to the states and now, 32 years later, 6 kiddos later, they are still cute, joyful people. my parents are wonderful parents. i am not going to say they are the best parents on earth because everybody thinks that about their parents...but maybe i will say they are the best, because you know what? there can be more than one best:) so, from the top, my parents are the best parents on earth. they have sacrificed for us, they were and are selfless, they loved and love us completely in an unconditional way....because with 6 kids, that can be a whole lot of messy! they have brought and bring laughter and even when there have even been tears, all have been in the name of family and love.

i am a little bit sad that this is the first year of my life that i do not get to be with them to celebrate them, to celebrate their love. last night after the musical, i will write about that later, i sat down tired and ready for bed and as i laid in bed i was thinking about their anniversary and if i might be able to do something special for them since i can't be home. i started thinking about them, about love, and i started humming this tune. and while i was humming the tune i started singing actual words and well within minutes i decided i just needed to record it for them.

i put together just a sweet little tune for you, mama and tata:) i always get a little bit nervous about posting music, when i'm on it, i don't know why, i'm just self-conscious i think. we all are in one way or another. well, it is just a fun, sweet little tune and the recording is horrible...first i got out of bed to do it and second you can hear chloe stepping on the keyboard at one point:) but i like it. i know love has nothing to do with fairy tales and what not BUT i'm sure that someone out there can agree that these things exist in love. because even if it isn't a fairy tale, it is good. our Father intended it to be so. and someday, i would like to really record it for them. they deserve it a lot:)

just incase you have a hard time with the lyrics:

you are the sunshine

after the rain

you are the bright stars

in the dead of night

you-oo my love

you-oo my only one

you whisper softly

secrets in the shapes of hearts

you are the beauty

in the gloomiest

of times

so, it turns out you cannot just upload a song to a blog. this forced me to create this little number. it is cutting the photos because i wouldn't even know where to begin as far as making the thing smaller:) but if you really want to see the photos, just click on it. i just love my family:)

mama si tata, va iubesc forte mult si mi dor de voi si doresc sa avetii o ziua forte placuta:) ne vedem la cratun!!!

happy anniversary:)

ps---if you have ever wondered which parent i take after...look at my profile photo....then look at my mom in her wedding photo....nough said:D

after this week is over.

2010-10-28T03:15:00.000-07:00

i think my heart rate will be a bit slower:)

i posted this on my fb. it deserves to be on here as well:) my students just kill me sometimes. the things they say, well, they are priceless. that is why i write tons of things down. so i never forget:) well yesterday i heard a funny. super funny.

i have a student named Tiger first of all.

Ian said to Tiger, "Tiger, if you would mate with a lion, you would make a Tigon."

he even did the math!

bahahahahaha! i seriously just about died!

like i said, my students just kill me:D

happy thursday.

good noche, eh?

2010-10-26T19:10:00.000-07:00

dress rehearsal was amazing. the show, it is going to be brilliant:) tomorrow, it begins. wow. wow. wow. good night:)

little shop...

2010-10-26T02:35:00.000-07:00

of horrors! that is the fall musical that Montverde is putting on. and it is this coming wednesday, thursday, and friday. and i have a few appearances in it! SO if you are in town, you should def stop by. the students are going to do an AMAZING job. we had our first run through last night and i was blown out of the water but how terrific they did. the props, the costumes, it is going to be so good. and oh my goodness, Jen and i just laughed the entire time because it is that funny. true story. we were NOT laughing at the students themselves but at their amazing abilities to really capture the essence of their characters. it's early. lots of work to do this week. so have a lovely week, blessings and smiles all around:)

the great pumpkin...

2010-10-23T07:00:00.000-07:00

SO, i began writing this days ago, but had no luck finishing it due to the madness of this week:) so i will sort of just combine the events of this past week.

first things first, if you know me, you know that i love charlie brown. i just do. there is something so nostalgic about charlie brown and i love watching the cartoons, reading the comics, all of it. well, earlier this week i received a little package in the mail...and it was from....the great pumpkin. no, i'm not joking. i know, i know, it may seem like a bunch of nonsense but my package read from the great pumpkin!

the only problem was that he/she forgot to leave a return address so i could send a thank you note:) inside were these cute little personalized fall note cards. the package was so cute too. it was the way my week began, with an interesting little package in my mailbox. and i am pretty sure my own family doesn't have my address and i don't think i have shared it with but a couple individuals. well, regardless, it was nice, so great pumpkin, thanks:) it was a nice way to begin week nine at Montverde.

tuesday overall was a nice day. i woke up feeling like i wanted to break all the fashion rules so i did...well, at least i thought so:) i had blue and white stripped shoes, a zig zaggy orange and ivory skirt, and a brown and white polka dotted blouse. too many patterns for one outfit?...nope. it was perfect:)

the only thing that was a little crummy was this flu thing. i don't get sick very often but when i do it is never just the common cold, it always has to be something like the flu. and when it hurts to swallow, well, that can really dampen anyone's mood, right? well, i decided that i was going to just have a good day. school went by pretty quickly and after there was a bit of running and off to this little sushi place in town. marlena introduced my to it and i just felt like that would make for a yum dinner, so i went. my outfit for my night out, pretty ridiculous:)

my i'm a veggie shirt(thanks cheech:), cut off shorts, sandals, and the best part, my locket:) my sisters and i each have one so i wear it always now. and it makes me think of them. love those girls so much:) i sent this photo to them that day to show them my locket, cc noticed the shirt:) i had the sweet potato rolls and a glass of plum wine and it was just perfect. my funny outfit, it not only got stares but it helped the chef at the restaurant identify me as a californian. how? i don't even know:) well, he was super nice and my dinner was a delight.

wednesday after school, i hung out with the kittens. i made dinner, put my jammers on, did work, and played with chloe and toby. they are just so fun! except for when i play to hard, their claws let me know....no bueno:)

meet chloe...

and toby:)

i won the battle. they got so sleepy that they just hopped up onto my bed and called it a day:)

thursday and friday were great. the flu thing, still kinda was making me crazy but eh. yesterday, i had parent teacher conferences. i was so amazing at how brilliant that experience was. i have heard horror stories about meeting with parents but mine were nothing like them. NOTHING. the parents i met were brilliant and i am certain the parents i didn't meet are brilliant as well because their kids are. after they were over, i went home and made a huge decision. i was going to do something outside of grading:) so i looked up movie times and after doing the dishes, i took off. what movie? life as we know it. i know, i know, BUT i am so glad that was the one i ended up picking. i love going to the movies by myself. i always have and i am pretty sure that i always will. don't get me wrong, i love going with others too but sometimes it is just nice going solo:) and last night, i am glad it happened that way. i had pizza before, only downside, burned the roof of my moth...still feeling it this morning. the movie, i liked it a whole lot. i laughed so much...most of the time, i was the only one laughing but so what:) and i'm not going to lie, i cried too. it happens:) would i recommend it. yes. guy or girl, if you are just feeling like watching a funny, ok kind of flick, sure, just watch it. why the heck not?

and there is a really good cover of guns n' roses song sweet child o' mine by these guys:

TAKEN BY TREES in series Live At Other Music from Dig For Fire on Vimeo.

the only thing that could have added to my night happened. i always love getting picture texts, i don't know why, i just do. and last night i got two! one right after the other:) first, i got to see jac, who is the most lovely and best five year old on earth.

and after my cutie pie sister sent me a photo and it just made me smile:)

now to get started on work. saturday, here i come...

jeepers.

2010-10-21T09:57:00.000-07:00

ok, so seriously, my students....they are pretty amazing. i received the most beautiful homemade button bracelet today:) it is perfect and colorful and i just love it. like i said, my students are amazing. it has nothing to do with the button bracelet, the bracelet is just the absolute neatest bonus. they are just awesome:)

well

2010-10-20T18:51:00.000-07:00

i started writing a post last night and cant seem to finish it....why?....because i keep taking PM meds:) i will finish it....soon:)

for now, enjoy and good night:)

and after that...

2010-10-19T16:30:00.000-07:00

i woke up feeling a lot better:) saturday night i was able to sing with ben and jason for this neat little outreach at a local church. i was not feeling too hot(actually i was feeling too hot, that was the problem) so i didn't get to finish out the night which honestly, broke my heart. i missed that so much and well, i just couldn't do it. the fever was killing me and i knew i wasn't going to last...and i was right. but sunday came:) i went to church with my family first because when i woke up, i knew i was ok. it was really nice to sit there with them, it has been a while so i felt very grateful. afterwards, i left for restoration. oh, i just was aching for that service. i missed it and miss it so and i was just looking forward to being there that morning. i had the opportunity to sing with ben and jason once again and this time we made it through and oh goodness, it was just such a wonderful thing. God was there, He is there with them. they are wonderful and He is doing such a work there. i was able to spend some time with Lindsey and the girls and what a treat, her sweet mama was in town so i got to see her too:) that Lindsey, she is so good for my heart. she is just overall, such a sweet soul:) i wish i had photos but we didn't take any, next time:) the service was so moving. moses and the burning bush. something we all need to hear not just once. it needs to seep in. it has to. it is to good not to let it captivate the heart. i was so glad to be able to be there even for a short time.

lunch with the family was wonderful and the afternoon off was so good. i needed it because i was just a little on the weaker side all weekend. later that evening, i got a really amazing treat. really, really. Jonsi with some pretty lovely people. awesome:D

we drove over in a large suv(the grays, the macdonalds, the wurzells, and yours truly:) and had such an amazing time. laughs and conversation and FACE! oh gosh, so many good laughs. i already miss it. jonsi was breathtaking. my heart was so moved. there was one point during a song where i caught myself looking up at the ceiling and i whispered, 'God, this is how my heart feels right now'. i know it sounds crazy but i almost felt like He said i know, my love, i know. and the tears just sort of came. but it was ok. it was just moving all around. the music, the art. all of it. there was such a meekness to his performance. and a sort of humility that you don't really see in a lot of musicians out there. it was beautiful. and i could not have been there with a nicer group of people.

and if you want to, you can watch the actual show here. and maybe you should. even if you were there, watch it again. you just should.

and after, it was time to head back. i got horribly sick. the worst plane experience ever. lots of benadryl. sleep. i'm here and my heart, it is good:)

what it was like.

2010-10-19T04:14:00.000-07:00

to be home:) SO up and down. my flight was pretty amazing. it was smooth and there was a parks and rec. marathon so seriously, it couldn't have been better:)

i got in late friday night. it was such a funny thing because my plane actually got in quite early but there was miscommunication between the sisters and i. well, not so much as miscommunication as much as just a lack of knowledge about LAX, which in retrospect is a bit funny considering aura and i go here and there so often:) i was so cranky by the time they got there, i must admit, but looking back at it now it was just funny, how they were supposedly driving past me but i couldn't see them. But they really were not driving past me. we finally figured the situation out and home was close. the drive home was funny and good. bec, aura, me. beyonce, black eyes peas, mumford and sons...what a weird mix, right? well, it worked:)

we talked, i miss them already. it was just so good. when we got to the house, the first thing i noticed as i walked towards the front door were the bajillion festive fall decorations. i love my mom:) the family home looks so beautiful and festive this time of year, inside and out. scarecrows, leaves, all of it. my mom just knows how to decorate. for all seasons, christmas, her specialty:) my favorite decoration this year was actually inside. it is the tablecloth. beautiful fall leaves all over it. it's perfect.

i was so sleepy when i got home. we chatted for a bit, i cleaned up, and off to bed. saturday was going to be busy. i needed sleep.

Saturday i woke up and got ready for our day. our FAMILY day:) i left to pick up some coffee for our breakfast and of course augie's was the place. i was really excited about the coffee, especially since they are now roasting. i bought two blends and Tom bought me a cup so i got to try a third. that morning made me smile. i sat at a table with friends and told them about my time in Montverde thus far and we were all just excited. It was such a treat for me to be able to sit with them, especially Tom and Roberto, because they are just dear people. they were so happy for me and were so joyful and that just brought pure delight to my heart. i saw the new roaster in the back room and truly, it looks perfect. it adds so much character to that room. maybe some that was lacking before and now it is complete. it is red and just lovely. and the coffee, really yum.

breakfast was amazing, coffee, eggs, pumpkin waffles! now, pumpkin is not my favorite BUT those waffles were amazing and cc, i want them for Christmas too:) or maybe we can make gingerbread ones!!! and we can make them for dinner when we do our gingerbread house competition with the boys....ahahaha, and maybe they will decide to leave the solar panel out this year so that they can actually stand a chance to win;)

sisters... probably the best in the world... i am almost certain. i made little trinkets for a few people, they were three of those people:)

me and the becker:)

laura(with a romanian accent) and i:)

the girls and mama:) she really is the best mom on earth:)

robishka and i:)

afterwards, we had such a wonderful afternoon of oak glen and the pumpkin patch and food. we had apple cider doughnuts and we took pictures with pumpkins and we ate a great deal. and kim and richard and robyn came and that was just perfect. kim made a lovely button frame for me and i can't wait to fill it and hang it:) i just loved being with everyone.

apples-snowline-gotta love em:)

my family:) some of them.

apple cider doughnuts!

so yum!

at snowline:)

the brothers, two of them:)

pumpkins, love them!

yes.

look at this face:)

the girls. so lovely.

well, the evening ended up not so hot. i was not feeling well AT ALL. details not necessary. but i just was not ok. at the end of the night i just felt ready for bed. i was so sad to see everyone go, it just felt so wrong, but my bed was calling.

i went to bed feeling pretty horrible. sunday, i woke up tired and achey but smiley:) to be continued...

i'm...

2010-10-15T22:20:00.000-07:00

home:) i have been so smiley all day and the smiles continue. i am so happy. so tired. love my family.
best plane ride ever....parks and recreation marathon. hello:)
good night, good night!

so is it possible???

2010-10-13T17:23:00.001-07:00

to run around all of montverde, i asked? here is the answer:

fall, autumn, whatever you like to call it

2010-10-13T16:19:00.000-07:00

fall, it is my absolute favorite time of the year. seriously, if you know me well enough, you pretty much know that i wear fall colors year round and i talk about fall all the time when it isn't fall yet or if it has already gone by:) there is something about it that just captivates me, my spirit. and as i get older, i seem to appreciate it more and more. i feel like this fall will be one that i will remember for a long time. SO, what comes next??? well, this fun little yearly tradition of a fall survey:)

1. What's you fave fall festivity? waiting for the leaves to fall so i can crunch, crunch, crunch. and also, walks. walks in the fall evenings are my favorite. and they are beautiful here because of the lakes around me and just the loveliness in general.

2. Got any spooky ideas for Halloween? no, i will probably watch the addams family, the great pumpkin, and hocus pocus:)

3. Pumpkin patch or corn maze? both. there is going to be a pumpkin patch just up the street from my home. i will be visiting it. it is at the cutest little church...like in the movies:)

4. How are you gonna give thanks this Thanksgiving? it is my favorite holiday. i am going to aura and from there we will visit our wonderful friends freda and floyd. i will miss my family this year. a lot.

5. Do you carve pumpkins? of course. pumpkin carving parties are grand.

6. Apple pie or pumpkin pie? apple. i carve pumpkins, don't eat them.

7. Haunted house or haunted maze? neither. i am not too keen on the whole 'haunted' thing. seriously, not at all.

8. What's your favorite fall grub? hmmm...apple cider donuts from snowline in oak glen, yum sugar cookies from publix, and pie. i like pie:)

9. What's your autumn drink? gingerbread chai...fall and winter.

10. What's your fave thing about fall? everything. but especially wearing scarves, hats, leggings, and boots.

11. Cool costume ideas for Halloween? owl. i got sick last year so if i do anything, i will be an owl:)

12. What are you wearing for homecoming? is that in the fall? and what? i wonder if Monverde has homecoming?

13. Jumpin' in any leaves? you betcha:)

14. Going any place fun this fall? YES! home. oak glen. pumpkin patch. dream:)

15. Fave Halloween candy? it was reese's peanut butter cups. but i can't eat those anymore:( i will have to find a new one....preferably red:)

one more day, one more day. i am SO grateful. for the coming and going and coming and going and so on of seasons. i am so grateful that we can't fool God. I am so glad that He is a healer and that He is a lover and that He is good. and i love music in the fall. i love it all the time but you know, fall music. coldplay is fall music to me:)

is it possible?

2010-10-12T16:57:00.000-07:00

to run around all of montverde??? because i think i along with twenty students did it today:) if not all the way, pretty close...Mindy, you will have to answer this question for me because you know the area much better:) what a day. a good day. a right day. even if my ears are just killing me, eh, such a minor thing right now. i'm going to my home, my home in california:)

goodness:)

2010-10-12T03:51:00.000-07:00

so i was just sitting here in my classroom and the nicest complement came walking through my door:) i did music at this nice church here in town on sunday and amy's son burned a cd for me of someone that i reminded him of. how nice is that? and it is the finches:)

6am

2010-10-12T02:56:00.000-07:00

it is. and i love it on campus at 6am. it is quite and all i hear are the sweet ladies that clean and the little white radio on a bucket down the hall. the mornings are so chilly now and there is always a little breeze. this morning especially, my heart feels so funny. but not in a bad way. it has felt funny in a bad way here and there over the past months but today is different.

my little sister cut her hair and now it is growing back in so beautifully. the other day i was able to write to her that my hair is growing back too...and that made me so happy. i can't wait to have my curling iron long locks back. and short bangs with those curling iron forced locks:) til that time comes, i will continue to be creative with the short locks. because i like them too, but i sur do miss my long hair and it is just time. what a funny little post, huh?

i forgot my kite at home. it is probably exactly where i left it so it should be hard to locate...hopefully:) i packed so lightly that i will have no problem bringing it back with me. there tend to be little breezes here and there so i may have better luck here, home was lose, lose most of the time:)

this week i am going to take photos. because i want to be able to show my family what is here. i think they will surely love it.

happy tuesday to you. make the most of it. fly a kite if the weather permits. or grab a book and read a few pages...i took my favorite book off the shelf last night and looked at the pictures and read. the principles of uncertainty. that title means a great deal to me now more than ever! or sing a song. or do a little dance. or grab your camera and take a picture of something really crazy...like bubblegum on the bottom of a chair, if you can find it, that is! or something. just do something!

courage is like a muscle. it grows stronger every time i use it. i read this today, on facebook out of all places. and i think it is brilliant.

watch...

2010-10-11T17:33:00.000-07:00

this. will ya? jeez louise, what a day. it was packed with headaches, earaches, and a million other things but it was good regardless. i am so ready for what this week will bring. i am so ready for what the weekend will bring. i just am ready...

for a while now i have been thinking about how funny life is. through conversations i have had with some of my dearest friends, whether by phone or by skype or by email or in person, a lot is becoming clear and that is something i am grateful for. sometimes we just get into fogs and we get stupid and the Lord has to grab us by the hand and pull. sometimes we try to be too strong and forget that when we are weak, He is strongest. so He has to remind us. and He does. He is never far. actually, He is always right there it is just that sometimes, we tend to seperate ourselves from Him for one reason or another. sometimes it is bitterness or anger or hurt or whatever, the list can go on and on but it isn't worth it. the truth is He is always near, we push Him, not the other way around. and yet, He is not too far even when we push. that is one thing i have been most grateful for in these past few months. my friend kim said some very profound things to me in these past couple days. things that have only encouraged me to think even further. and to understand that God has so many beautiful things in store for me and that nothing, not even myself, can take that away. i can sometimes slow it down, and sometimes He needs to slow things down for His purpose, but God is God, and He is bigger than my shortcomings, my inabilities, all of it. HE and He alone is capable of making all things new, beautiful, good.

good night:)

so is it cats or what?!

2010-10-11T05:53:00.000-07:00

yesterday was just wonderful. there was a lot happening but it was just what it needed to be. God is such a mystery to me. how He just knows. He doesn't have to guess about what we might need on any given day...He just knows. i had a long weekend, my mind was just everywhere so yesterday i wok up 'on the wrong side of the bed'. you know how that goes sometimes. well, that did not last very long. it was so funny because i actually had started writing an email and it was sort of negative nancyish BUT luckily, i didn't finish it before i left for church so i got a second shot! yesss:)

church was so nice. i was invited to lead worship at the church of a lovely lady from work and that was just great. i played with this younger fellow and well, you know when you meet someone who is clearly a natural at music? he was that. it was such a pleasure to play/sing with him and the others. i had a couple goodies to pick up on my way home so i did and afterwards, i went home to play with the little ones. and I WON! i wore them out and well, i wore myself out actually:) so we all took a little nap and they were so cute:)

i woke up and started on some work and my phone buzzed! it was Mindy and she and Hunter and Haylee were out riding bikes and wanted to come visit the kittens! that made me so happy and of course i said yes:) so they came by and played and laughed and Mindy and i got to chat and her friendship is so good for my heart:) (thanks:)

i went over to their home a little later and the plan was apple sauce AND Hunter and Haylee saved the last apple for me! the thing that made my heart so happy was the seconds after ringing the doorbell. i heard Haylee coming to the door with excitement in her voice about my arrival and i just stood waiting and smiling, literally from ear to ear. well, what happened shortly after was nothing short of amazing. Haylee and i sat down for a game of tic tac toe. and well, simply put, she beat me:) BUT we did have a couple cats rounds...here is where the question of cats come in:) do you know what cats means in a game of tic tac toe? i have had a few crazy glares in the past from calling cats in a game but that is so normal for me and for Mindy because Haylee knew exactly what i was talking about:) do you???

after, we had a lovely dinner together and the highlight, the applesauce. it was amazing. we went for a walk when we finished and saw some lovely things:) first is the house next door. over 100 years old and a true beaut. it is just down the street from my home so i can't wait to pay it a visit again. Mindy said the owners love giving tours when they are home...so i just need to catch them:)

there are docks all around because here, we are surrounded by lakes. the most beautiful ones. we walked out and there were dragon flies EVERYWHERE. it was such a vision as the sun was setting and they were just flying around, swarms of them. i don't know what you call tons of them:) when we got to the water, there was a something floating...and of course that something turned out to be an alligator! there may have been one on the other side, we were not sure but kinda we were pretty sure:) but the one that we were 100 percent certain of, we knew because he was actually moving around. he was a little guy so i wasn't too freaked out...'too' being the key word:) those guys are a bit scary.

the last thing was just one more special thing to close out the evening. these three beautiful antique chairs that are now around my little table that had no chairs:) it was the most lovely night.

a wonderful way to start off the week. the week that will lead to my trip home. home, see you soon:)

travel bug.

2010-10-10T04:27:00.001-07:00

i have it. i am ready for the trip on friday. any one else have the bug???

happy sunday:)

just saturday night.

2010-10-09T16:36:00.000-07:00

i will be home this time next week.

and if you know me, you know i love them:

BANDWIDTH / Rue Royale / Halfway Blind from Bandwidth on Vimeo.

noapte buna:)

happy birthday to me!

2010-10-08T09:52:00.001-07:00

the other night, my sisters got me so excited about my coming trip that i packed. normally, i am a little ocd about packing but not a week and a half early. oh well, what can you do?... :) three dresses, leggings, tights, boots, and flats. a couple other necessities and ready to go! yesterday, ian came up with this one. i was/am so impressed. these guys, they are just so creative. they def use the creative box in their brains. some people don't know how to, the guys that come up with these names, they KNOW!
the only problem with that birthday statement up there and in the above photos??? it is NOT my birthday! one of my period three students wrote that her birthday is on tuesday. when period four came in and saw that they immediately happy birthdayed me! i corrected that so quickly but somehow it stuck and they celebrated me! they sang and wrote birthday notes all over my boards and i just about died of laughter!!! i laughed so much. lena, the cheeck biting thing did not work this time. we laughed so much and my heart was so joyful, even if it isn't really my birthday! the last thing, one of the taller students in my class, jp, decided he was going to leave me a birthday note WAY up high on the board so that i couldn't possibly erase it! i caught him when he had nearly finished. and when the group walked out the door, i found little messages on the other board...i didn't see that happen because there was a large group of students in front of me. this was probably one of the nicest fridays i have had in so long and i am just all smiles. the students here, they are so brilliant. friends, i so hope you believe me because it is so true. AND not only are they smart, they are the funniest ever!
happy weekend to you! do something fun and fally. carve a pumpkin or drink some cider or something. the students are going to halloween horror nights...i will NOT be going:)
ps...tomorrow, chloe is coming home. she is toby's little sister and i know, i know, another cat? but she is so lovely and she really needed a home and toby needs a sister! i will post a photo soon.

thank you and thank you.

2010-10-06T13:22:00.001-07:00

today was one of those days. you know, where at the end of the day you just can't help but look up and say thank you and thank you. last night was such a disasted but it is in the past and today helped me really put it there. i don' know if i can stress enough how great of a place this is...not the place necessarily as much as the people. they are life changing.

today was just beautiful. fall is here and there is good music all around and just goodness in general flowing out of people. something wonderful happened. my students wanted a photo taken with me today and ah! that just was wonderful. so of course, we took one:

meet from left to right, my sweet and wonderful friend and fellow teacher, cheneille, and students nicole, audrey, and nick. and me! sporting my super duper monteverde tie! which i, mentioned earlier, tied all by myself with the help of mr. englishman on youtube:) thank you sir.
just before lunch i received the most wonderful gift. it was their good morning and they wished me one as well(lindsey, this seriously made my day...and just a bit later, you made it EVEN better:) this photo:

these two lovely ladies are very special to me and any day that i get something like this photo in my inbox cannot possibly be a bad day, it just can't. meet jac and buggie. if you don't know them already, you should, if you can't, too bad. thay are so great:) lunch was just grand. i had it with my friend mindy and she just was wonderful. her heart for here is so big and it makes me so excited. we talked about so many good things. wednesdays are assembly days and senior speeches are delivered. and seriously, they are brilliant. i keep telling some of my students that i am going to post them on here and i seriously might...just so you can know what i am talking about when i write about their brilliance! after assembly, i walked back to my classroom and saw i had a message and boy oh boy, when i opened it, this is what i saw:

if this doesn't just melt your heart, i am certain it has:) you know how sometimes you just want to be down and think that all is horrible and the world is against you but everything in you and around you is fighting it??? i love when those days happen. i am so happy to be going home in a little while even if only for a little while but honestly, i am going to miss these guys:)

today's playlist: sufjan(can't wait for the new one), the shins, bob dylan. limited but good:)

so...

2010-10-05T12:35:00.000-07:00

dear jessica,
i found your stash of paste magazines and truly, this morning, that is EXACTLY what i needed. i hope you don't mind that i am going to borrow them! thank you my friend,
roxi

part of this was written yesterday, part today, just try to keep up:)

i am sitting in class with two students. they are making up tests and i am blogging:)
ian, you thought i was not going to mention you but here it is...and what makes it just a little bit better is that you are currently sitting in here taking your test. i have a couple students, their names are ian and nick, and they along with a most of my students really bring laughter to my days, all of them. there is no lacking in the laughter department with these guys and the others! these two guys specifically have this thing they like to do. they write my name on the board here and the there. the only thing---it is never quite my name name. it always looks something like:

side note---> i started writing this yesterday afternoon and after leaving the school quite a bit happened which is why this didn't get finished. let me pick up where i left off and we shall see where that will take us:)

nick likes writing my name on the board like below. because the first week of school he told me that i reminded him of coraline, which was the ultimate compliament because 1, i love that movie and 2, you know me and buttons:)i also love my little love note from my ggga students, that is a local golf academy that just happens to bring us a group of really neat students:

the above and below come courtesy of ian. he knew this some of the students would have a hard time with this one, that some perhaps would not understand...but a few already got it and the laughter that came as a result was the proof! and it also looks like this:this one, i think, was a personal favorite for many...it was up there for like two weeks:) i think it is totally safe to say that my time here is being well spent:) i have been adjusting and the thing that has made the process such a smooth one are the people. those whom i work with, the students, and those outside of the school environment. a combination of the three is making my time here so pleasant and i am utterly grateful. monday night was a really neat night for me. marlena asked me to help out at the burning and of course i said yes. i always love it when i get the opportunity to music with her because she is absolutely brilliant. the service was so wonderful and just towards the end, shawn shared a story and it just nearly would have knocked me off my feet had i been standing. he talked about baseball when he was younger and how he just couldn't understand the importance of being in the out field just waiting...and waiting...and waiting. he thought about being in other places but no, he was stuck out there watching kids hit balls, run, and so on. and he just stod and waited. UNTIL finally a kid hit the ball and it disappeared. and he looked around for it and didn't see it anywhere. well, that is, unit he looked at his glove and noticed that the ball was tucked away in him glove! he had served such a purpose and was not able to see it until he caught that ball and realized how important his position was! how lovely is that! well, while i was sitting there, shawn began to pray and the words, 'ask and i'll give the nations to you' flooded my mind. that is a song by shane and shane and i heard it for the first time years and years ago but when i heard it for the first time i sort of felt like it was my anthem because for as long as i could remember, that was the deepest and is the deepest burning of my heart. to be among the nations. i remember from a very young age talking to my mom about these things. i remember my firs time out of the country and how important that was to me and how it changed my life. well, monday night, that all came flooding in. and i just wept. i was reminded of my heart and it hit me. i work at Montverde Academy. the Creater of the Universe made it that i would be SURROUNDED by the nations. we finished and i was able to talk to marlena about what i experienced and my heart was so full that night. yesterday, i was able to share it with a new friend mindy. mindy is one of the sweetest gals. she is a teacher here but she also oversees the bible club here and ccc, the service i get to sing for every once i a while. i sang on sunday night and there was a little crack in there and it made me feel so insecure but mindy just encourage and encouraged me. yesterday, after i told her my story from monday night, she paused just for a bit and said something that sent a shiver up my back. she told me that the Lord opened a door for me to be able to sing to the nations...41 to be exact. 41 nations are represented here at Montverde. it doesn't matter how many cracks or whatever come out of my mouth, they don't care! i shouldn't care! this is such a neat thing! just a while later, i remembered that i had noticed something a week ago and kept meaning to ask about it but kept forgetting. as i drove up the street, i noticed this little sign that read YWAM oralndo. well, being that i know a number of people who have been involved in the program, i was interested in finding out about that little sign so i finally asked mindy about it! and she knew as much as i did. BUT she also told me that students at the school were asked her about possible missions opportunities! and YWAM would be perfect for these guys! so she gave me homework---call YWAM! so i did and they were so excited and i was so excited and we will be meeting soon to discuss a partenership AND that sign, that is their new training center! five minutes up the road from Montverde! hello!
i sort of skipped around school the rest of the day, just marveling in how the Lord works. how He is so faithful to provide. and i decided to go for a drive to lena's to tell her about it, and it happened. i heard this horrible sound, my car swirved, i pulled over, and flat tire. really flat. i had to move a little bit up the road because i was in a very tight spot. i had a few nice people stop to assist but i let them know lena and shawn were on their way. one nice sir, ato, and his sons got out and help and between ato and shawn, we were good to go to the tire shop. well, long story short, it kinda was a disaster. my car is at the shop currently, there is a very bent rim. and last night was srt of rough. and i was so mad at myself because i knew it was just an attack and i think that i parially failed. i tried so hard to smile it off but by the end of the night, there were tears involved. HOWEVER, i woke up with a smile on my face this morning. God is faithful. it is ok if you are reading and don't really buy into that, but i do and i hae experienced that faithfulness too many times to doubt it:)

anywho, i have my tie on this morning....YOUTUBE is magical. this english man taught me how to tie a tie thins morning:)

happy wednesday:)

OMG!

2010-10-05T09:13:00.000-07:00

ok, so i don't ever really use that but today that is all i can think! i am going to blog tonight. the post, it is going to be FIRE. just within these past two days too much has happened! but so much goodness! i just cannot believe it, seriously. i just can't!

happy fall!

testing one, two, three, testing....

2010-10-03T11:25:00.000-07:00

so, i am just sitting in my classroom on a lovely sunday afternoon grading and finishing up a test. why? because i can:) busyness never seems to end here but that is not me complaining because i love what i am a part of here. the past few weeks have been nearly maddening for me but i have gotten through simply with the 'one day at a time' approach. that is one that i am really bad at and the Lord knows it and luckily, He is a really good teacher:)

i have been learning so much in the past couple months since this change took place. change being the move to Florida. it could not have come at a better time and the more that time passes by, the more i realize that and the more i am grateful. even though i will experience pain here and there, i am slowly learning that God, in His grace, can heal, and does heal. and just knowing this brings a great amount of peace to my heart. and it's not just me, we all go through things and that will never change. healing does not come over night but that is a good thing because as it comes, we can experience rejoicing. if it came quickly, we might miss it or just forget to rejoice because we just want to be done with it. time is always key, always.

i am finding healing through the people around me. and the Lord is restoring my heart. and there is a crazy amount of hope in the air. that even though i don't know where He is taking me, He has plans that are bigger than i can ever imagine. hope. hope is real. even when we can't see the end result or how God will get us there. it is real. hello, look how far He has already brought me, and trust me, it wasn't because i am so faithful. i lack there, i admit, but HE is faithful:) all of this doesn't mean that i don't have bad days, because i do, but God is in those to! last week, the cutest thing happened, and i was so grateful for it. i was sitting at lunch and i could feel someone's eyes on me. i turned around and behind me was the cutest little blonde kid looking right at me. he smiled and turned quickly, so i turned. when i turned again he was looking right at me, smiled, and turned quickly. we continued in that pattern for the next few minutes and i laughed so much and the gratitude in my heart was flowing. being grateful for the little moments and remembering them is what gets us through some of the hard times we encounter.

i love that i am going home in two weeks. i love that my entire family will be together again even if only for a weekend. i love that i will see their faces and get to hug them and plant kisses on their cheeks:) my heart races when i think about being there.

i hope this week is everything it was meant to be and some extra on top! our Creator can totally do that:)

every moment

2010-09-24T09:40:00.000-07:00

counts! i am really starting to appreciate that little saying that we all use too often but don't really live by. it's ok, we are all guilty of it, i am sure it is safe to say:) this is my first free moment in a while and i am sitting in prep period writing:) but i want to, because i like to, and it has been so long.

first off, if i have not responded to an email, i am so sorry. i have every intension of getting back to you, i promise, it is just so hard to sometimes. especially this week. this week, i woke up feeling like i had been hit by a fast bus/train/ship/space ship---everyday. i know that sounds like a bad thing, and in some ways it is, BUT not entirely. i didn't fall apart into a million pieces. i had to go one step at a time but why is that a bad thing? it isn't.

i will begin with last weekend. something good happened, something encouraging, something that moved me. i had a click, and it was in the right direction. there is this thing called ccc that happens here on campus and i am going to get to be a part of it and my heart is so excited about it. on sunday night, Joel, from church, and i had the opportunity to speak and lead music for the students who live on campus. nervous doesn't really capture what i was feeling. i just knew that they would be walking into my classroom on monday morning. and on top of that, i was coming out of the closet...i know that sounds funny, but i was. they didn't know my heart and getting up in front of them and declaring my love for the Creator was like coming out of the closet for me. there were so many emotions involved but it was so wonderful. they sang and clapped and there were some dancers! they love to dance:)

i felt a shift that night. i went to barns and noble with marlena and we just talked about how i never expected this kind of opportunity upon coming here but it was here, waiting for my arrival. i went back to my little apartment and sat with toby and talked to the Lord. just kinda talked to Him, not in a crazy way, if there even is such a thing. i just needed to, so i did. that shift, it was/is the Lord stirring up my heart. my heart for Him, for young people, for the nations, for life, for music, for knowledge, for everything. He started to stir and it is wonderful.

this week, i cried some. tears of exhaustion:) if it isn't one thing, it's another, ahahaha:) but the Lord was there with me. He just kinda pushed me along and i really needed Him to do that. BUT the crazy thing is, this week has probably been one of my favorites since arriving. i don't know how that works but it does. i made some wonderful progress. i am nicer to myself. i LOVE my students. they make me smile even on my rough, rough, rough days. that is so nice. it makes everything worth it. the students do, that it. sometimes i wonder if they are aware of how special they really are, i hope so.

i got to spend time with people, i love son of rambow...if you have not seen it, seriously do watch it:), and feel a little more plugged in and even get some really neat unexpected opportunities to do things that i love...i will write about that when the time comes.

tonight, i am going to get to slep. and tomorrow...brightlight:)

happy weekend, my friends!

little time...

2010-09-19T12:54:00.000-07:00

to post so this one will be short.
toby was going to help me grade today...well, he is a slacker. absolutely.

tonight, i get to participate in my first ccc. it is the sunday evening service held on campus for the on campus students. there will be two of us, joel speaking and joel and myself musicing. i think he should be more nervous since he is actually doing most of the work. i think i might be more nervous because they will be coming to my class in the morning.

wish us luck. better yet, just send a little prayer our way:) i will write more when time permits, promise.

ps...the cookies and chocolate milk...they are for my nerves:)

i saw something...

2010-09-15T04:07:00.001-07:00

this morning. it made me want to jump out of my skin...but in a really good way! wow, wow, wow. i love when that happens:) also, it was cool this morning...first sign of FALL??? i sure hope so:)