walking next to you...

today is good friday. i know that there are folks out there who don't celebrate easter the way i do and that is ok, but i am going to share about how i do:) this week has been a really tough week for me. i am being stretched in painful ways and that is never a fun thing but that doesn't mean it isn't necessary. last night i received some amazingly discouraging news and it just could not have come at a more horrible time...easter weekend.

i woke up this morning still a bit discouraged but with the desire to make today NOT about me and the way i am feeling. i know that a huge sacrifice was made on our behalf and it just can't be about me. early, i began this internal thanking process. i began to think about all of the gifts i have been given and just spoke silent thank yous to the Lord.

i am a person of faith and sometimes i am so awful at it. truly, i am. but i know that everything points to our Father and all is His and He knows what is good and we need to wait on Him...so tough.

today we are getting ready at my house. food is cooking, cleaning is happening, and it is just nice. we have a good friday service tonight at restoration and brian, ben, and i will be music and we will read scripture together and i am really looking forward to the community.

easter is one of my favorite times of year. people all over think about the passion one had for people. enough passion to sacrifice His own carnal existence for their existence, not carnal but eternal...theirs, ours. the idea of sacrifice and passion and love all in one bring such peace to my heart at a time that has potential to be slightly crummy.

however you celebrate, remember to enjoy this time with your family. remember to be grateful for sacrifices made. remember that we all have to sacrifice sometimes but for the better in the end. so grateful. happy easter weekend friends:)

if you know me, you know i love anderson cooper:) it is true, he is one of my favorites. i know it sounds so silly but i don't mind...i still like him. i was watching anderson cooper 360 and tonight the first story was about a fifteen year old girl that hung herself because of the awful bullying she experienced in school. i can't begin to express how sad my heart was hearing about her. she was so sweet looking and new to the country and she experienced so much meanness from her peers and no action was taken. adults witnessed it happening to her and no one defended her:(

it hit really close to home for me because i experienced bullying when i was younger and i remember how horrible it was. i don't talk about it very often...not at all because no matter how much you let go, when you think about it, there is still a bit of pain attached to it. i remember crying and begging my mom to let me stay home from school because i just could not bear to be there. i won't go too much into it but gosh, kids can be so mean and they just shouldn't be. they shouldn't.

i don't know. i am not a parent or anything and i don't know how or where kinds pick up their bullying tendencies but it shouldn't be happening. fifteen year old kids, eleven year old kids, shouldn't be so tormented that they have no escape but suicide. oh gosh it makes me want to cry.

we just really need to step back and make certain that we are not treating others horribly. especially as adults because young people are like sponges and they do pick up good and bad things. what a scary thing that kids are capable of such awful things. we need to love. we need to teach LOVE.

over and out.

these past couple weeks have been a bit busy and while most of the time i am ok with busy, i just wasn't. not to say i didn't enjoy most of what was happening, it just seemed like too much of everything...and a lack of the things i really needed. i didn't get to spend as much time as i would have liked with zack, it won't be happening again. i didn't get to spend very much time with music and that is no good. that was a one time thing too. these are just a start to the list.

i told zack that after the week, i will be learning to say no. that has always been a difficult thing for me. i like to help so i say yes to everything and sometimes it is just too much and i can see how saying yes too much can be a bad thing now. you over book, things begin to overlap, and it has potential to just be a mess. i didn't get to mess, praise the Lord, but i think it had potential to get there had i not stepped back:) i am a list person so this week i am making a list of the things that need to exist in my life and everything else will be on the 'if i have free time' list.

this week zack and i committed to two things, scratch that four. first spending time with each other and friends, second, going through the easter reading for church, third doing music and writing, and fourth marriage counseling:)

we had a good end to the week and start to the week. friday and saturday night brian, ryan, richard and myself did music for a little winter camp. it was nice, i think it was different for all of us but we really enjoyed it. we were supposed to be there and there was this kid there named jacob that really stood out to us and i was happy that he was there. sunday night was incredible. we went to service and john spoke about Jesus entering Jerusalem. he spoke about how rulers entered cities one of two ways. on a horse or on a smaller animal like a donkey and what that meant for the rulers and the people. the horse represented power and conquer and pride. the donkey represented humility and peace and so many other good things. Jesus went in peace, is peace, how beautiful is that.

i know this consists of just a bunch of little things but i needed to just catch up so from here on out it would be up to date:) have a good day. if it is just crummy eat ice cream or fly a kite or just look at a nice photo but don't be down too long...

on sunday zack and i went to the indian canyons in palm springs. our loyal customer and friend lew had been telling us about this place for a while now so we finally found a free day and went out. if you have never been to this place, you should go because i promise, you are missing out. i can't believe this place is just hiding out in the middle of the desert. the life and beauty out there is unbelievable. really, i felt like i had left southern california for a few hours when it is just in our backyard. we did about a 10 mile desert hike, i was tired but not as tired as i would have been had it been a mountain hike, the elevation kills me:/

we went to three different locations, all as lovely as can be. lew described every single plant, rock, and reptile we encountered. he once led tours there because the overseers loved how knowledgeable he was about the place...amazing, i know:) lew is an everything guy. he was a fireman, retired, became a search and rescue guy, works at a museum, does archeology digs, etc., etc. he is our hero:) we had a little picnic lunch and it was just wonderful. we shared and talked and laughed an it was just good.

zack brought his camera and he sent these to me:

he snuck that first one. i was surprised when i saw it...i think i was trying to stretch and he caught me in the act:) i am glad i brought that hat...it was one of the first things zack got me and i really love it:)

tomorrow is our big photo day!

happy tuesday.

last monday night brian and i played a bit for an art show and i believe i mentioned it earlier but i said i would post a few photos later on and it is later:) zack brought his camera to snap a few photos and i am so glad he did so that brian and i could have them. everyone had such a lovely time and i hope to do it again soon.

i hope you enjoy this lovely saint patrick's wednesday, spring is in the air:) i think i will wear a dress today...something with a hint of green perhaps:) i will be picking up some lovely goodies for the art show. make today a lovely day. cheers!