walking next to you...

i am taking the cset once again today. the only thing that is a bit different this time around is that i am taking all three sections in one sitting. i will have 5 1/2 hours to complete a tad over 100 multiple choice questions and 9 essay response questions. they will be dealing with everything from mankind's 1st civilization to today's economy. i have studied quite a bit for this thing. last night i did something i have never done before. i did not try to cram bits and pieces of information into my brain. i usually do that before an exam but i was highly encouraged not to so i didn't. i was able to meet with a really cool group of ladies to tie up all ends for an upcoming conference and afterward, myself and some dear friends played and sang songs of praise to our beautiful creator. there is nothing else i would have wanted to do more at that time. it is so hard for me to think of anything but an exam when i am taking an exam when i realize i should be thinking unto the Lord for guidance even in a silly exam. i have been reading quite a bit these past few days...not only text books and notes and such but scripture. this morning i was reading ps 40 and a few things really stood out to me. first was, "how happy is the man who puts his trust in the Lord." i know when i am high anxiety, one of the hardest things for me to do is fully trust in the Lord. this is something i have been working on a lot these past few months. i have encountered many things that have led me to putting myself aside and fully relying on the Lord for His guidance. and i have no regrets in not listening to myself. i seem to be my biggest problem sometimes, more so my mind, but the Lord has been working in me:) the second thing was vs 8, "i delight to do your will my God, your instruction resides within me." it was a breath of fresh air for my soul this morning because if there is one thing that i constantly need to be reminded is that not my will but His be done. this life, what i am doing here, this exam, it isn't about me. it is about His glory being shown to others. my heart is to follow His word and the things He has placed before me and that in itself is peace to my anxious heart.

a friend of mine shared this with me the other day and i thought i would share it with you. o most loving Father, you want us to give thanks for all things, to fear nothing except losing you, and to lay all our cares on you, knowing that you care for us. grant that fears and anxieties in this mortal life may not hide from us the light of your immortal love shown to us in your Son, Jesus Christ our Lord.