walking next to you...

Archive for March 2011

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

i just gotta....

i have mexico work to do but this first because i don't want to forget today. the past couple of days have been a little rough around the edges, for multiple reasons so i'm not going to even dive in. i have been having to really hold on tight to the near and dear and remember gratitude and hope...but it has been tough. we all go through it and make it through it is just when your in it that it seems so fiery.

the lord has been sending goodness my way, i have not been missing it. encouragement from friends, little texts from zack attack, students bringing me poptart presents:) and the list goes on. well, today i got home from school and just cried a little bit. you know when you just need a little cry? it was one of those and i needed it. during my cry a little hurricane or something hit and the cats and i were a tad scared. after that i got to talk to zack for a bit and after decided for a tijuana flats dinner.

on my way out, i noticed that a very large tree fell on the cars of a couple friends which opened the door for a visit with both:) i spoke to jen for a while after and it was so good for my soul. so good. when i sat down in my car. and sat. and sat. and started humming. and singing. he is jealous for me....loves like a hurricane.....i am a tree....bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy. and i cried some more. this song is so rounded. it seems to develop new meaning every few days and today it just went to the next level. God's love is so big. like a hurricane. and as i am beginning to experience intense weather, it is developing into an almost spiritual thing. i don't mean that in a weird way but God is all around us and we are in his creation, weather included so maybe we should sense him in the nature around us.

my night ended with a worship sesh with the hopmans and it was amazing:) all four of us in hunters room, him leading us. oh how he loves. so much goodness. i am glad that God is everything He claims to be.

now for some mexico!

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

so grateful:)

love:)
the fort!
lake tour!
he took this of me. i just love him:)
mini golf!
oh the trees.

today was my first day back after spring break and what a wonderful day it was. there are ups and downs in every day but that doesn't mean anything. deal with the downs and love the ups and you're golden:) i thought it would be a good idea to take a break from my mexico reading(a country that my students see as eh, kinda boring, after studying nigeria and iran...no offense...hopefully it will get more exciting when we cover the aztecs and corruption:) before i begin writing about the coming days, as graduation approaches, i have to go back a bit and tell you about my spring break:)

it was WONDERFUL:) the wednesday before break, i signed a contract for year two AND i got this fancy little ring from the man in my life which means, yes, there is going to be a wedding! he came to visit here for a few days since this will be his new home and he brought a few goodies with him, one being the sweet ring. but honestly, i just was so excited for him to be here with me....i cried three days before he left because he was leaving:)

during his visit, we did so much but all so wonderful. we purchased a new beautiful bed. i love it and we get to use all of the cool pillows and blankets we have accumulated over recent years:) we did some traveling around florida and it was amazing! we started off by going to st. augustine, the oldest city in the us! we visited the fort and the old churches and held hands as we walked down the streets and zack took photos:) i loved just watching him. i loved looking at his face and him catching me and us smiling and talking and it was good. i missed him so much. in so many ways. when you have a love of your life, distance is no issue but it doesn't mean you don't miss him;) we enjoyed that place so much and will go back once we are all moved in in the summertime! after st. augustine, we drove to jacksonville for something so special.

john mark mcmillan! we were able to experience him together which was so amazing because one song that has become so special to both of us individually and together is how ho loves and we were a part of something really wonderful that night. i still had stitches in my hand because they refused to take them out on wednesday. zack was so careful and loving to me and to the hand:) jmm was amazing and i will not forget experiencing that with zack anytime soon.

we had an interesting drive home. too many deer. if i don't see another real deer in a very long time, i will be a-ok with that:) zack was a trooper and he got us home and i just loved him more after that night. i can't believe how my love for him grows. but it does and i know that all glory goes to God for such goodness:)

on sunday before church, zack took me to get the ol' stitches out! woot:) the people at the er are just amazing. they got me in and out so that we made it to church in perfect time AND the stitches came out! sunday we had lunch with lena and heather and went home to work on our home:) oh i love, love, love the sound of that! zack made dinner and during dinner he started talking about leaving and i just broke down into lots of tears. the idea of him leaving just ripped my heart to pieces. i know i will see him soon but after having him here and loving it so much, loving him so much, to hear him say those words....blah.

on monday, we spent the day in orlando with jen strahl. it was amazing. she took us all over the place! the beautiful leu gardens, the mexican restaurant with the 'don't drink the water' sign, the winter park lake tour, rollins college tour, a record store, and disney mini golf and a few other locations. we had such a blast! she was the best city guide:)

tuesday oh tuesday, so bittersweet. tuesday we walked around montverde. by the park, the post, the fire station, the equestrian center, and the lake. it was perfect. zack made coffee and we walked and talked and i was thinking about him leaving the next day. but finally decided to enjoy the day completely since he was with me. that night we had dinner with shawn and sean and lena and heather and it was mmm mmm good:) and the cupcakes, unreal:) and duh, we watched hotrod:) love that movie!

well, the following morning, zack got on a plan and now he is living it up in san fran:) having him here was the best gift. just simply the best. i loved every moment. he is such a brilliant man with a brilliant heart and i get him. again, woot:) in just a couple of months we will begin our journey together and God is going to move us to wonderful things, i know it. it's so crazy that it begins here, in small town florida. i love how God works:)

he got fitted for a shirt and bow tie today. God things to come...

back to mexico i go:)

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Thursday, March 10, 2011

just a thought...

"People are often unreasonable and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.
If you are honest, people may cheat you. Be honest anyway.
If you find happiness, people may be jealous. Be happy anyway.
The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough. Give your best anyway.
For you see, in the end, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway."

-Mother Teresa

this morning i woke up and read somthing my sister posted and so needed to read it this morning. it is so funny how the Lord just knows our needs and when we need. people will always be people and there's nothing that we can do about that one:) there will always be people with one or more of these characteristics: kind, gentle, honest, humble, selfless, mean, selfish, destructive, manipulative, and the list goes on. luckily we are only responsible for how we behave. when all is said and done, we will have to stand up for the decisions we made in life. for the things we have done. for the ways we treat people. and so on. so i love what Mother Teresa had to say. do you best to do what is right and good and honest because in the end, that is the stuff that really matters. people will always be people and even the best of humanity has been known to make mistakes, but we should strive for good if we can.....and the thing is, we totally can:) thanks beckers, your awesome!

Sunday, March 6, 2011

not what i expected...

this post is not the post that i thought i was going to write today.... at all. i thought i was going to write about the place that has stolen my heart... i guess that will have to wait for another time:) this one is going to be about...well, we shall just call it my "exciting" day.

it started off just as a normal day. i got ready and had a few things to accomplish so i made a mental list and started checking items off. the last two things on my list were lunch and going to class to grade and lesson plan. i started on lunch and was making a pretty yummy one. a nice sandwich with avocado(because i eat them now), a banana(i now eat those too), juice, and snapea crisps. yum, right? i know. well, i got everything ready and moved on to the avocado and well, something went really wrong. as i was getting ready to get the pit out, the knife missed the pit curved down, went through the avocado and about an inch into my hand in between my index and middle finger. can we say nightmare?! yes. it immediately started to bleed very heavily and i tried not to freak out but i did a little bit. i held my hand really tight because it was bleeding so heavily and quickly ran across the hall hoping someone would be there. i didn't know what to do or how to get to the er or anything.

my sweet neighbor was home and she was so wonderful. she helped me and talked to me and really comforted me. the Lord used her presence so wonderfully in my life today. she and her husband are from puerto rico and they love to laugh and that makes me so happy:) she even wrapped my hand in one of victor's shirt. she drove me to the er and her husband led the way. and they sat patiently with me for what seemed like hours....because it was.

i hadn't had anything to eat that day and neither had they so victor ran out to the car and came in with a lovely loaf of cuban bread! they really are the most wonderful people. they did a great job at keeping me distracted from what was coming:) we finally got checked in and the nurse that took my blood pressure and all those other numbers was awesome. she told me i was normal and i quickly blurted out. awesome, can you pass that news along to my family? ehehehe, yanitza, the nurse, and i had such a good laugh. i laughed so much the entire time even though it was the most painful physical thing i have ever experienced. God was so merciful:)

when the nurse came to get me he greeted me by saying he would only treat me if i brought an avocado for him! bah! funny, eh! i laughed and said NO. since all the rooms were full, i had my procedure done in the hallway. which was awesome! yani came in with me and was the best. oh gosh, i was so grateful. there was this little girl watching the whole time. like five. she told me she loved her dad a million and that she was going to teach me hopscotch and she was so stinking cute and sick, the poor dear:( but she ad the others really eased my heart. i had such good conversation with yani, the nurse, the doctor, the little girl. and there were laughs. and God was there in that er, in that hallway. i know He was because that is what eased my heart:) i am growing. today showed that to me. i don't deal with these types of situations well at all. but God is helping me along even in such things. the little things matter to Him too. it's awesome. it hurt. really bad. my hand wouldn't numb so she kept pocking and they hurt. it finally worked and she stitched me up, 7 to be exact, and called it a day. no grading happened because it is 7 and i am in bed. we were there for 4 1/2 hours so i am sleepy to put it lightly and in pain. but God is God and He is good and He's got this:) if you read this, send a little prayer my way:) the numbing is going away and well, ouch.

i read this little excerpt from this book called 'come away my beloved' and it was what i needed for tonight, it goes something like this:

o child, do not expect the trials to be lighter than in the past. why should you think the tests would be less severe? i test all things and there are areas of your life that as of yet, i have not touched. do not look for respite. the days ahead may call for greater endurance and more robust faith than you ever needed before. welcome this, for you must surely know how precious are the lessons learned through such experiences. even if you are unable to fully anticipate them with joy, you can certainly gain an appropriate appreciation of them in retrospect. apply your hearts to learn wisdom. this goal transcends every other aim, and any other good that comes out of a pressure period is an added blessing in excess. seek me above all else.

'if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him.' James 1:5

photos from my day-