walking next to you...

that is what every person i run into says and i just don't like it. i am not big on stress so when it comes, it is overwhelming for me. i went to augies for a couple hours today to do homework. i have been doing this a great deal lately and the more i do it, the more i hate it. maybe hate is too strong a word but greatly dislike for certain. i am trying to finish everything up so that i can graduate in may but the motivation is just not there. i think the panic/anxiety/fear is just getting to me in a way that i have never experienced before. i have been told so many times throughout my life that the evil one will attack me/us in my/our weakest moments and i used to think i never had those...i know, that makes me sound like a terrible/arrogant person but it's not that. i just always thought i had to be the strongest because it was just me and God out there and the whole world was against us and well, i guess i thought He needed my help or something. i know the whole world isn't against me...i actually am a great believer in the idea that i, for the most part, am my biggest enemy... except for the enemy of our Father whom, in reality, is truly the greatest enemy. i just know that sometimes, i just want to leave. leave and go somewhere else. not to run away from problems or issues because lets face it, the things we call problems are silly little things...not even worth the agony. sometimes i wonder why i am doing what i am doing. i know the things my heart dreams about and i have yet to pursue so many of those things. why? i don't know. i need to focus on school work...