walking next to you...

this week was long. good but long. my eyes are burning. i have important phone calls to return. emails to respond to. i am sorry for my delay. tonight was so full. my heart literally feels like it might burst so i just need to write it down before i go back to grading and lesson planning. tonight i was able to participate in CCC and it was possible a favorite for me because the topic was thankfulness. if you know me on a deep level, you know that thanksgiving is quite possibly my favorite day of the year, even more so than my birthday. that one is actually pretty far down the list:) the students were able to compliment one another and they learned about gratitude. and a dance team camp and did a piece about the ultimate sacrifice and it was beautiful. Mindy asked if i would share something very special to me heart with the students and at first i was a bit hesitant about it but everything in me said do it. a few weeks ago, i wrote a little song for my mom and pop. i have been writing a bit lately and that is something i am so grateful for and getting to express my gratitude through song for my parents is special. and i was able to share it with some really amazing Montverde students and faculty tonight. i was honored.

as i was up there singing, it hit me. literally, i was taken back to many many years ago and it hit me. God is so big. i remembered when my mom's papa died. i remember the day that friends came over to mourn with her. i remember that she wasn't able to be by his side, she wasn't able to say goodbye. i remember the tears. i didn't understand. tonight, while i was on stage singing their love song, it hit me just how great the sacrifice of my parent's was and how it continues to be. that they left their parents, their siblings, their lives, all of it behind. for me. for aura. for cheech. for joe. and bec and joni. i can't believe i didn't burst into tears. God was with me.

i am grateful. i am grateful that my mom and dad has such big hearts for their four little ones at the time. that they saw more than what they were living and that they fought for dearest life to bring us to a nation of freedom and opportunity. i am grateful that they knew that there was only one way to raise us, all six of us, and that was in the way of the Lord. i am grateful that they showed us love for the Lord and what it meant to fear the Lord and that really, that means loving the Lord:) i am grateful that no matter how stupid we have been, and trust me between the six of us, that is a lot of stupid here and there, that their love has been and continues to be true and unconditional. i am grateful that they loved us enough to love us tough. sometimes people think there is no necessity for tough love. that is a lie. there is.

i am grateful that there is so much love between the eight of us. it is explosive. i am grateful that sometimes just the mere thought of my family makes me explode into tears. i am grateful that i have the most beautiful siblings on this planet. yes, they are cute, but i'm not talking about that. i am talking about the fact that they are one of a kind. our relationships to one another are full and we are apart but when you love someone, distance can't matter. because love is bigger. and i trust in that, especially from my mama and papa and from my siblings. they are each unique. they radiate with joy and life and when i am home, my heart is heavy with love from being around them. that, my friends, is not good, it is brilliant. i am grateful that some of the most Godly love has come from these individuals in time of great confusion and pain and without judgement or hatred. i am grateful that when we are together we laugh so much it hurts. and that we can share tears together. and that the hardest times in our lives have made us that much stronger. that instead of falling apart, we are bound together. and we share hugs. and kisses. and we eat together. and play BOARD GAMES together! oh, God is so good. so good.

i am grateful that i have never received as much encouragement from any people as i have from my family. i am grateful that when God is moving they don't hesitate to push, like coming here to Florida. it was painful for them to see me go. it was painful for me. but they knew the Lord was moving and they said ok. and that is the kind of love that is so good.

thanksgiving will be hard this year because i won't be home for the first time. but i am going to be in a good place with wonderful friends. friends that i am thankful for. the Lord did not bring me here to be alone. He has provided in the most beautiful ways. in ways that i have never experienced. He is moving me to new levels and that is beautiful.

i have to stop because my stomach is telling me that it needs food and i have so much work but i just needed to get that out. i will continue this gratitude thing in the next couple days because the Lord is just giving and giving. love, inspiration, healing, friendship, wisdom, growth, HOPE. and i don't want to forget it. so i will share it with you by writing:)

noapte buna friends:)

- family, i love you so deeply and Christmas, it can't come soon enough.