random thoughts...

by





this will probably be a bit long... you don't have to read the whole thing if you don't want to:) anywho, today we went to a funeral. it was a funeral for a woman whom my family has known for 20 years... that is most of my life. she was a beautiful woman who loved the Lord with everything in her and that is something i can remember about her from when i was a little girl. we loved her a great deal. she lost her battle to cancer but she won the bigger battle because last sunday evening, she entered into eternity with the Father whom she loved so passionately during her time here. she never really called me by my name, she preferred "luminita," because that was the name of her favorite niece and she said i reminded her of her niece from the time we met. she is in a better place.

later on in the day i started thinking about random moments from my time in romania this summer and one specific moment came to mind. it was our second morning there and it was really early because my body thought 2:30am was a good wake up time. so, i grabbed my bible and walked into the kitchen. as i was flipping through the pages, i just kept going and going and going until i got to the book of james. i have always really enjoyed james so i read it often but this time, there was a specific verse that my eyes landed on and it goes something like, "religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world." i remember that moment very well, like it was just moments ago. my eyes zeroed in on it and as i was reading it, the words sunk deep into my heart. i remember when i was little, maybe 6 or 7 years old, sitting in front of the television when a certain commercial aired. i remember seeing the tiny girl on the tv, no shoes, dirty, helpless, and i wanted to weep. i wanted to run to her, through the tv, i was a kid, to bring her home, to my home, to love her. i have always had and will always have a deeply special place for orphans in my heart. not for any reason other than that i love them, and because i know that our Father loves them so deeply. when i was 14 years old, i experienced an orphanage for the first time. it was in the slums of mexico city and i still remember their faces, no photos necessary. you just can't forget. they were so beautiful and they loved to love. this past summer brought back many memories for me, of my time in mexico. this summer was one of the most special experiences i have had so far in my life's journey and how grateful i am for it. it is always the most difficult thing to be there and to leave and come home to everything. they have nothing, i have everything. i am still really taking it all in. 
for the past few years, i have been consistent in asking the Father for two things. one, i would really love to return to amsterdam some day. i think i forgot a big piece of my heart there the last time i was there and so, i want to return. i always thought it would be terrific to open a tea house/bookstore in the city. maybe some day. there is a story behind it... it is long but if you ever feel like asking, you should, i will share, perhaps over a cup of tea:)  anywho, the second thing, i want to be more involved with orphans. i want to be involved period, i will take anything. but what i mean is, well, don't you have something your heart just aches for and you can't really explain it but it is there and it just is right? well, orphans, they are that for me. not because i pity them or because i want to save them. no. because they love when people talk to them(they don't care what you look like, or if you are up to date with the latest trend, or so on), and when they are treated like humans too(because they are), and when people love them. that is why, because i think they deserve to be loved just like i am loved. it can be here or somewhere else. i have to focus on the here for now because i am here:) getting involved here, that is.
well, i know this seems incomplete but i think i am finished for the night. 
think good thoughts.