every moment

by

counts! i am really starting to appreciate that little saying that we all use too often but don't really live by. it's ok, we are all guilty of it, i am sure it is safe to say:) this is my first free moment in a while and i am sitting in prep period writing:) but i want to, because i like to, and it has been so long.
first off, if i have not responded to an email, i am so sorry. i have every intension of getting back to you, i promise, it is just so hard to sometimes. especially this week. this week, i woke up feeling like i had been hit by a fast bus/train/ship/space ship---everyday. i know that sounds like a bad thing, and in some ways it is, BUT not entirely. i didn't fall apart into a million pieces. i had to go one step at a time but why is that a bad thing? it isn't.
i will begin with last weekend. something good happened, something encouraging, something that moved me. i had a click, and it was in the right direction. there is this thing called ccc that happens here on campus and i am going to get to be a part of it and my heart is so excited about it. on sunday night, Joel, from church, and i had the opportunity to speak and lead music for the students who live on campus. nervous doesn't really capture what i was feeling. i just knew that they would be walking into my classroom on monday morning. and on top of that, i was coming out of the closet...i know that sounds funny, but i was. they didn't know my heart and getting up in front of them and declaring my love for the Creator was like coming out of the closet for me. there were so many emotions involved but it was so wonderful. they sang and clapped and there were some dancers! they love to dance:)
i felt a shift that night. i went to barns and noble with marlena and we just talked about how i never expected this kind of opportunity upon coming here but it was here, waiting for my arrival. i went back to my little apartment and sat with toby and talked to the Lord. just kinda talked to Him, not in a crazy way, if there even is such a thing. i just needed to, so i did. that shift, it was/is the Lord stirring up my heart. my heart for Him, for young people, for the nations, for life, for music, for knowledge, for everything. He started to stir and it is wonderful.
this week, i cried some. tears of exhaustion:) if it isn't one thing, it's another, ahahaha:) but the Lord was there with me. He just kinda pushed me along and i really needed Him to do that. BUT the crazy thing is, this week has probably been one of my favorites since arriving. i don't know how that works but it does. i made some wonderful progress. i am nicer to myself. i LOVE my students. they make me smile even on my rough, rough, rough days. that is so nice. it makes everything worth it. the students do, that it. sometimes i wonder if they are aware of how special they really are, i hope so.
i got to spend time with people, i love son of rambow...if you have not seen it, seriously do watch it:), and feel a little more plugged in and even get some really neat unexpected opportunities to do things that i love...i will write about that when the time comes.
tonight, i am going to get to slep. and tomorrow...brightlight:)
happy weekend, my friends!